El Andalous - Balcony Furniture

New Furniture - My Daytime Working Space

Up until now, apart from a swinging chair (which I’m quite proud of, I must admit!), I’ve just been using my dining table and chairs as places to sit on the balcony. They’ve served quite well and the chairs are quite useful since you can move them about – believe it or not, I move them about so that they’re always in the shade. With the computer on my lap, it’s just too hot in the sun.

When I bought my swinging chair, I started sitting mostly on that, but now that the weather is getting hotter, I find the chair cushion hugs me a bit too closely and I get rather sweaty, so I’ve gone back to the dining chairs, which are kind of netted in design, so there’s always air around you.

I also discovered that in the summer, my balcony is always in the shade; it gets sun only in the winter. This is actually ideal.

Anyway, with all this information now in place, I felt in a position to order some balcony furniture. I’d seen a set ages ago that I liked, so I went to El Nasr street in the hope that it would still be available (indeed, in the hope that the shop would still exist). It was really too expensive, but I hoped to get the price down. Besides, it was a one-off purchase that I would use a lot, so I may as well go for what I wanted rather than settle for something else and forever be thinking of the one that got away.

The good news was that the shop was still there and so was the desired furniture. I asked them to measure it, but to my dismay the sofa was too long for the space I had available. On letting them know this, they re-measured it and all of a sudden the measurements met my needs (This is Egypt). At this point, I asked to do it myself; I established that there was no way it would fit.

I decided that maybe I could have the smaller 2-seater sofa and 2 armchairs; at this point the guy serving me suggested I speak to the manager on the phone since he wasn’t able to negotiate a price for me. My heart sank as phone conversations are usually not good; I can never understand a word. However, the guy spoke excellent English. It turned out they had only one armchair and this wasn’t enough.

Before I knew what was happening, he was bombarding me with pictures of various similar suites that they had and rattling off prices. Having said that, he was being very helpful. I decided to carry on looking round the shop.

Upstairs there was a similar suite where the 3-seater was not quite so long (I made sure I measured it!). So, there I was on the phone again, negotiating. I was pushing for 6k LE total, but we ended up agreeing I could have what I required for 7k instead of 10k LE (the 10k was for the entire suite, though), but that I would go back home and measure up again to see if I could squeeze the sofa into the space. He added that delivery would be free but that he’d add 100 LE for all the consultancy he was giving me, which coincidentally, was the exact same price as the delivery fee. I couldn’t be bothered arguing and I took it as a sign that maybe I was approaching his liimt.

I was impressed, because he followed up the conversation with an email attaching pictures of everything else he had available. I eventually made up my mind, sneaked in an extra corner table into my order, and reiterated the price (I was now ordering the entire suite minus one armchair). He agreed without hesitation, which made me wonder if I could have haggled more, but I was happy enough.

The delivery people came and then insisted on a tip, which surprised me a bit, since when I agreed the final price, the 100 LE had turned back into a delivery charge. I didn’t really know what to give them (this is the major problem). I gave 50 LE which I thought was very generous as it was basically an extra 50% on top of the delivery charge (but only 10 LE per person, as five of them unpacked), but having just handed over 7100 LE for the suite, I got the impression they thought I was being a bit stingy. I’m always acutely aware that for many Egyptians I am paying out ridiculous amounts of money for non-essential items and I feel quite embarrassed about that. But, then, I wonder how much they also play on that embarrassment. It’s a nightmare.

Nevertheless, once I’d sorted out where to put the furniture (I ordered the 3-seater even though it didn’t fit where I wanted it to go), I’m very happy with it. My balcony now feels like home and I feel a bit like some colonial lady overlooking my property!

El Andalous - Writing

El Andalous - Shisha Area

I guess it’s about time I wrote about my writing, since that was one of my proclaimed reasons for coming over here and I haven’t really talked about it at all. Most writers have blogs to help sell their books, but my one is really as much for me to have a record of what it was like to settle over here than anything else.

Anyway, how’s my writing going? Well, as I’ve mentioned, last November I did write and publish “25 New Year’s Resolutions – for Dogs!” However, I didn’t have time to market it before Christmas and I really want to get a few other similar books out before plugging it too much, as it’s better to have a series to sell than just one. That way, if you make your book available for free as a marketing strategy (this can get you higher up on the “most popular” rankings), people who like your freebie may subsequently proceed to buy one of your other books. Consequently, if you don’t have any other books to sell, you’re a bit stuffed.

So, I’m in the final stages now of “25 New Year’s Resolutions – for Cats!” and I’ve drafted out some ideas for “25 New Year’s Resolutions – for Fish!” They may never sell, but they’ve been fun to write. In September, I will probably be working at marketing them properly this year. I may even give the Dogs book a bit of an overhaul.

I’ve completed the second draft of my debut novel, “Time Tells”. Unfortunately, I’ve got a major hole in the plot that I somehow need to overcome. Still thinking about that one! Recently, I’ve started an initial draft of “Space Shapes”, my second novel (I’m currently up to Chapter 6). Like the “New Year’s Resolutions” series, I want to have at least two novels out at the same time before I publish anything. Whereas “Time Tells” is very plot driven, “Space Shapes” is very character driven. Unfortunately, I don’t think characterisation is my writing strong point, so I’ve been taking a few courses.

There’s one run by the Open University (OU), which has about another two weeks to run. They’ve had something like 25,000 people taking this online course, so it’s a bit overwhelming with all the people contributing, but it’s brought a few things into focus for me that perhaps I’d missed, so it’s been useful. In addition to this, I’ve enrolled on two courses by Dean Wesley Smith, recommended to me by a friend. He’s based in the US, the courses are a series of videos followed by weekly assignments on the course topic. Each course has a maximum of 12 participants, so it’s more personal, and a lot more specialised and intense, than the OU course, but you have to pay for it!

I’ve been taking the “Character Voice and Setting” and “Depth” courses (one is just finishing, the other is just starting). It’s been very useful to spend some time thinking about what it is that I’m doing and to understand the sheer variety of techniques available; it’s almost overwhelming. Again, it’s also helped to bring things into focus. I hope I manage to improve my writing as a result.

Anyway, as you can see, I’m not spending my entire life swimming and socialising! Also, just because you may not see me publishing anything for long periods, this doesn’t mean that I’m not beavering away in the background. It’s all going on, I promise!

Egypt - Renewing Visa

Hurghada, Senzo Mall

Well, my first seven months came and went and it was time for me to renew my visa. I made a bit of a newbie mistake last time – when you get a visa, you need your tourist residential visa and a re-entry visa if you want to travel outside of Egypt. The re-entry visa is valid for a maximum of 6 months and I thought this meant that the main visa would have to have the same duration. However, it turns out that you can get a year’s tourist residential visa and then you just apply later for a second re-entry visa, if you need it. So, this time, I opted for a year’s visa.

Doing things a second time is always mildly satisfying as you get to reflect on how far you’ve come meanwhile. Last time I got my visa, I had my broken foot and I was using Esmat for the first time. My foot now is like it was never broken and I can’t imagine life here without Esmat!

Rules for visas here tend to change fairly frequently. This isn’t so surprising given that the Egyptians have overthrown three governments in fairly quick succession and each time the country has to try and gather itself together and try again. Anyway, it used to be the case that you applied before 10am and then got the visa before 2pm. Now, you need two days as you can’t get the visa on the same day that you apply. Rumours are that there are greater security checks these days.

It’s a bit annoying as that means two taxi journeys (and thus more expense), but I guess it’s also helping the economy a bit because I’m spending more money.

As it turned out, Esmat wasn’t available, so his father-in-law, who speaks no English, drove me there instead. He’s a nice cheery guy who can also look grumpy at times (yes, I know, it’s a strange combination) and I tried out a few bits of my faltering Arabic on him, although I’m not too sure he always even realised I was trying to speak Arabic. But we got by.

There was additional security this time at the passport office, so I had to have my handbag checked before going in. The guy took out the insulated bag inside it and asked me what it was, so I explained it was water. He never looked inside to check; he just wore an expression on his face that the penny had suddenly dropped, and let me in. That was very Egyptian, somehow. The Egyptian people are really quite curious (and gossipy!) by nature.

Ironically, I was less well prepared on this occasion. Last time, I had all the required photocopies with me plus spares; on this visit, I finally got to the desk with my completed forms, only for the official to inform me that I needed photocopies of my last visa and my entrance visa (I’d forgotten that!) plus a new rule stipulated that I needed an extra copy of the photograph page of my passport. Last time, I’d brought extra copies of everything, so I felt a bit foolish. Maybe I’m becoming too blasé.

However, the passport office now has its own photocopier, which is a huge improvement (they didn’t have a photocopier before, so you were stuffed if you didn’t possess the right number of pages. The nearest copier was miles away). For some reason, government buildings always seem to place their photocopiers outside and never in the building. This would be impossible in Europe due to rain, but it seems to work OK over here, although it always feels very strange to see that huge machine standing outside. You just pay the guy directly for your photocopies.

I decided I may as well make the most of my journey, so I asked to be dropped off at Senzo Mall to do some shopping. Esmat’s father-in-law looked a bit confused at first and phoned Esmat. I should really know by now that if I don’t have Esmat, it always flummoxes them if I ask to do anything other than go straight back. Anyway, he dropped me off somewhere a bit odd, so I had to ask him how to get to the Mall; he drove forward about four inches and showed me a hole in the bushes that I could go through and the Mall was just opposite. It was a bit strange, but handy enough! I am becoming more local by the month, obviously.

Esmat ended up picking me up from the mall because, he said, his father-in-law had said he’d already done quite enough work for one day. Esmat laughed and said it was fine, because he was a retired man who didn’t really want to work, but that he had no idea what a long day at work was! I didn’t take it personally and, as it turned out, he phoned Esmat up while I was in the car to let him know that he shouldn’t forget me.

I collected my visa the next day without a problem, so I’m now sorted for a year. I wonder what the next 12 months hold?

Sahl Hasheesh - Second Haircut

Egyptian Pillars by the Pier

I have this horrible habit of not really planning when to get my hair cut. I just wake up one day and suddenly feel that I can bear it no longer, and my hair needs cutting today. In Switzerland, I had the same stylist pretty much most of the time. Although I couldn’t always get an appointment on the day I requested it, she pretty much tried to make herself available whenever I turned up.

Anyway, time is pressing on, and I had one of those “must get my hair cut” days. Nobody seems willing to recommend a hairdresser here, which doesn’t bode well. Stuck for any better idea, I thought I may as well go back to where I went before. The experience had been a bit bizarre, but I had come out of it alive.

Unfortunately, the shop was closed when I got there. Businesses come and go in quite quick succession here, so it didn’t seem entirely unlikely to me that the place had closed altogether. It wasn’t particularly easy to tell just by looking at it, since it had always looked a bit strange in the first place. In the end, I thought maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try somewhere else.

I thought I would try in the Premier Romance hotel. It is a fairly upmarket establishment so their hairdresser should be of decent quality. Anyway, I was just finding my way into the hotel when someone asked me what I was looking for, so he invited me to stay inside his shop, where there was air conditioning, while he found out whether the salon was operating. I was grateful for the cool air, as I had already manoeuvred us during conversation into the shade rather than in the sun.

Anyway, he came back and showed me the way to the salon. It looked much more like a hairdresser than the other place – there were basins, there were towels, there were mirrors. I agreed to have just a trim and negotiated the price, which was considerably higher than my last cut.

It started off well. The hairdresser was a charming young girl who laughed a lot. However, as she started to cut my hair, I began to have my doubts and I suddenly recalled that maybe it was the Premier Romance where Kathleen had said she’d had her hair cut and it was so bad she had to go elsewhere immediately afterwards. I had no idea what the hairdresser was doing, but it looked pretty chaotic.

It was only supposed to be a trim, but she seemed to be trying to even up my asymmetric hairstyle and was hacking all the hair round my right ear where it was previously long. Then she would plump it all up in a big mess on top of my head, put her hands in the air and say “wonderful!” I kept on thinking that I must have faith, because I often panic when in the hairdressers. Maybe she knew what she was doing and where she was going to end up. Eventually, I latched on to the fact that her mission – from her, not me – was to remove all my grey hairs; hence the chaotic nature of it all.

It was eventually over. I guess it could have looked worse, but it wasn’t really what I’d call a trim and the original style was now lost, but since it’s a good 7 months since I was last in a “proper” hairdresser, maybe my hope of a good hairstyle has disappeared forever.

Then, to my surprise, she asked if I wanted to have it washed. This isn’t exactly the normal order of things. I asked if it was included, she nodded, but I suspect she hadn’t understood. Anyway, we went over, I had my hair washed. She informed me she was putting hammam oils onto my hair and they needed to be left for three minutes. One minute later, she came back and rinsed it out. So much for that!

I could have dried my hair better myself. I have no idea how she did it, but I ended up with the hairdryer cord wrapped round my neck, while she was on tiptoes at some very awkward angle trying to dry my hair. If I thought my previous experience was strange, this was truly bizarre.

My only consolation – and I had thought this before getting my hair done – is that next time it needs doing, I will be in the UK, so at least I can maybe start again with a decent hairstyle and then see what happens following on from that.

El Andalous - Returning Items

El Andalous Rooftop Pool - Work in Progress

Well, I guess it had to happen sooner or later, but with all my coffee machine traumas, I ended up having to return the malfunctioning one back to souq.com.

Returning anything anywhere is always a bit of a faff. Anyway, I decided to get on with it since the quicker I did it, the sooner I could be released from the long-winded way of making my coffee.

I looked on the website to learn about the procedure for returns; it said I had to email them for details, so I did that and received a reply fairly quickly. So far, so good.

They said I had to pack the item up (already done! I was proud to be so efficient!), print out the shipping labels using the link they provided, phone the delivery company for a pick up date and then they would refund on receipt of goods. I printed out the labels (I am so glad I have a printer!), but procrastinated when it came to having to phone the delivery company. I could sense that this was where the trouble would lie. And also, of course, I don’t like phones.

After a day and a half, I decided I needed to get it over and done with. When I finally got round to it, I was surprised to find I could understand pretty much every word the woman said on the phone. What had I been worrying about? Why did I delay? She said they’d phone back soon to let me know the pick-up date and time. It all sounded good.

But after I put the phone down, I started to think. I can’t seem to be on the phone and think at the same time. What exactly did “soon” mean? Would they phone me back in 10 minutes, two hours, two days, two weeks? I wanted to go out and swim, but were they about to call me? Hmmm.

In the end, I decided to take my mobile to the beach and if it rang while I was swimming, well, they could just try again. Luckily, they phoned just as I was about to leave my sunbed for my swim. Unfortunately, this time I couldn’t understand a single word that the person was saying to me.

In the end I tried asking questions that required one word answers in the hope that this would make it easier. Unfortunately, my question of “Which date, today or tomorrow?” resulted in a sentence I couldn’t understand. I wasn’t entirely convinced he was speaking English.

I tried again, this time giving something that required only “yes” or “no” as an answer. I asked “You will pick it up tomorrow?” and followed it with the word for “tomorrow” in Arabic. Suddenly, I got a sentence of which I could get the gist. It was: “Ah, in that case I will cancel it”. With that, he hung up.

I stood there on the beach, having no clue what had happened there. Was it cancelled altogether, was it cancelled and reordered for tomorrow, was he going to call back? I now remembered why I had procrastinated on this phoning lark.

I hummed and hawed the next day, not really wanting to phone, but also not desiring to stay in all day for a pick up that may never happen. I needed to know where I stood. Now, however, the conversation I wished to have was more complicated than before. If I couldn’t get the basic one completed successfully, what chance did I have of making myself understood this time? Don’t get me wrong. I’m completely aware that I’m in Egypt and I should be able to speak Arabic well enough to deal with these situations. And I am trying to learn, it’s just that I still have to cope with life in the mean time!

Anyway, I ended up picking up the phone and trying again. The first time, the woman wanted an order number, which I didn’t have. I suggested giving her my phone number like last time so that she could look me up on their system. This went quite well until she asked me to wait for a moment and then hung up the phone three minutes later.

After deliberating, I decided to try again. This time, half-way through the conversation with someone else, it appeared that the woman on the other end could no longer hear what I was saying, so she just ended the call in mid-conversation, saying “Thank you for calling Aramex”.

Finally, I tried going to the Aramex website. After multiple attempts to create an account (I will spare you the details), I left an email to ask if they could pick the machine up tomorrow.

Nevertheless, the primary question still wasn’t resolved, which was whether the guy from the day before had reordered the pick up for today. I wasn’t even entirely sure if I had to pay for the pick up. In the end, I gave the package and some money to our guys on reception and tried to explain that Aramex may or may not collect it, and they may or may not require money, but if they did, here it all was. Fortunately, this request appeared to be understood without too much problem.

To my complete surprise, when I returned from swimming, the parcel had been picked up and I hadn’t needed to pay. Now, of course, I was left with this out-of-date request for a pick up the following day and no means of contacting them to let them know (it was one of those online forms rather than an email address that I used). Still, I hoped that maybe it would be clear from their system.

Another question was whether they would do as I requested and just send me a replacement, or whether I needed to get the refund and re-order it. I tell you, life can be so confusing!

Finally, I noticed that the money had been refunded to my credit card, so I ordered the item again, and I'm now back to making coffees fairly easily (fingers crossed!). All this hassle wasn't in my original picture of paradise!

El Andalous - Coffee Machine Tales

El Andalous - Front Entrance

I wrote in one of my early blogs that I no longer drink coffee. That is no longer true. After I’d adapted, I returned to coffee drinking, although, admittedly, not as much as I used to. I generally have two cups a day now – one in the morning, and one when I get back from my afternoon swim. On occasion, I may have a cup at lunch, too.

However, I think life is trying to tell me to quit the habit, as I’ve managed to break four coffee machines so far this year. Admittedly, about 50% of the time, it’s been my fault.

The first one broke of old age (better it than me!). It kept on fusing each time I used it, so I gave up and threw it away. I bought a new one in Spinneys – Black and Decker. It was quite large and looked impressive. Mechanically, it was perfect. Unfortunately, I broke the carafe within the first month. It’s been a long time since I’ve been that annoyed with myself.

I spent some time looking to replace the carafe, but even on amazon or on ebay, and ignoring the delivery difficulties, it was going to cost more to buy a jug than to buy a new machine altogether.

For a while, I continued to use the machine by manually pressing the button that releases the coffee into the receptacle with a spoon and then placing a pyrex dish on the warming plate to collect the coffee. Once completed, I would transfer the coffee into a large plastic container with a pouring rim, and then I’d pour it from that into my coffee cup. It was rather a faff. Eventually, I had to face facts. I needed to purchase a new machine.

So, I bought my third machine on souq.com – bargain, I thought, at 156 LE. I even learned that these days they are known as “drip coffee makers”. The term “coffee percolator” seems to have gone out of fashion.

I put my Black and Decker machine in a cupboard, just in case I suddenly found a carafe that would fit.

Anyway, my third coffee maker arrived and it was a pretty good machine for the money. It was slightly smaller, but that wasn’t a bad thing, and it made coffee. Just the ticket. I tested the carafe on the Black and Decker, but it didn’t fit. I made sure to take great care with the jug this time. Then, one fine day, I switched the machine on when it didn’t have any water in. I got a whiff of something burning and that was another machine, kaput. Again, I gave myself a right kicking. I’ve obviously turned a bit stupid since moving over here.

This time, I ordered another machine – the same one – without hesitation. The old Black and Decker one came out and I went back to the old, exhausting routine with the pyrex dish, plastic jug, and mug.

I eagerly unpacked coffee maker number four, only to discover that the lid wouldn’t shut properly. I couldn’t see what was wrong, so I placed a heavy item on top of it on its first use. That seemed to do the trick as the lid then stayed down afterwards. I went to make a second lot of coffee the next day and a bit fell off. Whatever this bit did, not having it somehow meant that the water could no longer work its way up the machine and onto the coffee.

So, that one had to be returned, which was a bit of a story in itself (next blog).

My only consolation is that I now have a spare jug should I break the one on the replacement, when it arrives. Meanwhile, I am back with the Black and Decker one again, faffing about with the pyrex dish, blah, blah. At least I am now starting to feel that I am getting some of my money’s worth out of that machine, even without a jug.

How long will it be until I break coffee machine number five?

Sahl Hasheesh - Mosquitos

Sahl Hasheesh - Pier from El Andalous Rooftop

One not-so-good thing about living here is the mosquitos.

I have been trying a number of preventative measures, but as yet with no success.

The first technique was to buy that insect killer that electrocutes them. It may seem barbaric, but after I’ve been bitten twenty times, I’m quite happy to lower my ethical standards. However, it didn’t really work and then the lamp broke anyway. I’ve never bothered to replace it.

I originally had a mosquito net in my bedroom, but I found it annoying when I had the rats and my broken foot as I had to fight back the mosquito net each time I wanted to dash out of my bed (either in fear or for the call of nature). Although I was comforted by thinking that the net made it harder for the rodents to get up on my bed (my biggest fear), I was also convinced I would see the rodents’ antics better if only the curtain weren’t in the way. In the end, I opted for mosquito netting doors so that I could have air coming in from the balcony at night and I took down the mosquito net over my bed.

However, there’s still always one mosquito buzzing round in my flat every single night.

I have the mosquito killer plug-in liquid that evaporates. This didn’t work for me outside, but when I’m in bed the buzzing does seem to stop after about half an hour once I’ve plugged it in. But maybe it’s just psychological and I just end up falling asleep, since when I’m in front of the TV I see no effect whatsoever on that lone mosquito. So, jury is out on that one.

I use “Off” spray as a repellent, which works quite well, but I don’t really like using it. As a potential substitute, I’d heard that spraying yourself with vodka deters the mosquitos. I really liked this idea. It sounded quite decadent. I tried it and actually it didn’t make me smell like an inveterate alcoholic; it was a pleasant and light spray that I enjoyed using. Unfortunately, it didn’t work, which kind of defeated the exercise. I’d also heard that if you sprayed a mosquito directly with the vodka, it would die; however, my lone mosquito just seemed to get drunk and bit me another six times.

Another person told me that drinking a whisky each evening is effective against mosquitos. Unfortunately, I don’t like whisky, but maybe I should try a vodka and orange and see if taking vodka back to its intended use is actually the best medicine. Maybe after a stiff drink, you just don’t care either way!

I’m currently pinning my hopes on daily intake of vitamin B tablets. The advice I’ve heard is that you need to take it for a month before it demonstrates the desired effect; indeed, many people report a distinct lack of bites after receiving a regular regimen of vitamin B1, B6 or vitamin B complex. I’m six days in so far…

And then there’s immunity after around two years, they say. The only problem with that is you are immune only to the mosquitos in your area. Apparently, mosquitos stay and breed within a confined area, so you may turn out to be immune to the ones in your back yard but not to the ones down the road… still, at least I would be able to use my balcony at night.

As for post-bite measures – up until now I’ve been soothing myself with Waleda ointment, which works quite well. Sometimes I’ve used bicarbonate of soda, which is also quite good. Recently, on recommendation, I bought a tube of the local ointment (only costs around 30p!), designed for local mosquito bites, and that too is pretty good. Another thing I’d like to try is one of these bite-zapper things that I’ve heard several people talk about. You put it over the bite, zap it with the gizmo, and then the bite causes you no more itching or anything any more.

But my long-term aim is to be mosquito free!