El Andalous - Hotting Up!

El Andalous Beach from Under the Pier

Well, it’s almost July as I write this and it’s definitely hotter than it was in February.

A few of my habits have changed now that it’s hotter. I used to sit in the sun on the beach and now I sit in the shade pretty much all the time. I only sit in the sun when I’ve just come out of the sea and I want to dry off a bit. Even then, I stay maybe only 15 minutes and then retreat back to the shade (where the temperature is pretty pleasant).

I’m wondering how I managed to swim in the winter. The water must be pretty warm now (around 28-29 degrees, maybe?), but I still hesitate before going in and the occasional cold patches in the water must now be the temperature of my previous hot patches in the winter, so the idea of the whole sea being colder than that is quite scary. I will be interested to see how I feel about swimming in Jan-Mar next year, after I’ve experienced a summer over here and have adapted to the warmer water temperatures.

Some days it has probably been in the 40s. There seems to be a point where I feel too hot. I become very lethargic, feel a little unwell, and spend my day dozing on the bed or sitting up and trying to stay awake. I’m not good for much else on those days. There have probably been about four of them so far, so not common, but they do happen. I’d like to get one of those weather station things to see if I can correlate this with a temperature range.

I wonder if my body will adapt or whether I will just have to use this time being inside with the air conditioning on. Weirdly, I’ve never gone to the beach on those days (felt too lethargic, maybe) and yet that would perhaps be the cure. Alternatively, I wonder if it’s a changing season thing. I remember a Nigerian guy at the University of Dundee saying he always felt unwell when the seasons changed in Scotland because he just wasn’t used to it.

I also think I have a bit of a heat rash. For a while, my skin was feeling quite prickly and my spine has a rash and the underneath of my legs; the latter making it quite uncomfortable to sit. These are the areas I most lean on, so I think they just get too warm and sweaty. I’ve been using calamine lotion and that seems to cure it. I’m now as happy as Larry (lucky old Larry!).

If I’m on my balcony in the afternoon (I’m usually on the beach or swimming, though), I now need to have my fan on, although I don’t yet have it on full blast (I’m on speed setting 3 out of 5). Having my front door also works well to provide a steady draught of air through the flat

Generally, though, the heat doesn’t bother me during the day but I find the nights more difficult as it doesn’t really cool down at all. Very often if I have the balcony doors open, it’s making the flat warmer rather than colder. My fans were a good investment as I now have them going all evening and throughout the night and this serves well to keep me feeling relatively comfortable. However, I need to get the guy to come in and fix them as they are quite loud and shouldn’t be. It doesn’t bother me when I ‘m sitting and writing, but I do wonder if the loud hum stops me from getting to sleep at times.

The remote control sensor for the fan is on the ceiling and in the dark, the green (and sometimes red, if I have it on timer, although nowadays I just have it running non-stop) LED indicator flickers as the blades go round blocking out the pinprick of light each time they pass it. If I’m feeling neurotic, which is most of the time when I’m tired and it’s dark, I worry that this constant fast flashing will give me an epileptic fit, so I try not to lie there with my eyes open.

Each time I have a coffee, I feel uncomfortably hot, so I’ve now changed over to iced coffees, which are horribly addictive. When I first got here, my addiction was chocolate-flavoured milk but I went off that all of a sudden for some reason. Anyway, I might have problems limiting myself to two a day. I’m just using the powdered Nescafe Espresso; I was a bit sceptical about it, but for iced coffee it does just the job. I guess I’ll be back to hot coffee (and breaking more coffee machines) in the winter.

Hurghada - Returning Dustbuster to Spinneys

Sahl Hasheesh - View of Old Town from Pier

I’m slowly accumulating a range of living experiences here in Egypt. I’d already done the return of items bought online, now it was my time to experience returning an item to a physical shop.

I’d bought what I thought was a dustbuster in Spinneys. I needed it to give my new balcony furniture a quick hoover each morning without the rigmarole of getting my hoover out, attaching all the poles, getting the lead out, etc. Anyway, when I returned home and unpacked it, I realised that it was for plugging into the cigarette lighter of a car and was thus designed for cleaning cars. So, as far as I was concerned, it was useless.

I boxed it all up and aimed to return it next time I went to Spinneys. However, to my surprise, Nicole informed me that she’d taken something back 17 days after purchase and they refused it, saying the time period for returns was 14 days. You don’t really expect strict enforcement of rules over here. Anyway, when Nicole subsequently offered to drop me off at Spinneys on her way into Hurghada, I decided I may as well go in order to ensure I returned the dustbuster within the correct time.

Actually, returning it was pretty easy. They nodded understandingly when I said I hadn’t realised it was for cars only. They offered to sell me a small hoover instead, but I said that wasn’t what I needed, which they accepted and then put the money back on my debit card. A dustbuster has subsequently been added to my list of items to buy when I’m in the UK as I can’t find one here at all so far. Anyway, it's good to know that if you return items within the first 14 days, it’s a pretty smooth process. Quite extraordinary, in fact.

I phoned Esmat to take me back, but I hadn’t realised it was a Friday, so he had three hours of prayers ahead of him. My heart sank as I was now back to the early days of negotiating a taxi, but I decided I may as well make the most of my time. Consequently, I wandered round all the shops (even bought myself a new swimming costume – only 90 LE and it was one of those super-slimming ones too!) and stopped off for a rare treat of a café latte. At some point, though, I had to make my way home.

As usual, a random guy ran up to me as I approached saying “Taxi?” I said yes and watched out to see that the cab was numbered. This is when I realised that I still don’t know all the rules and tricks. The car was the right taxi colours and it had a number, but instead of being in the normal font, the number was in italics in a circle. Was this a “fake” taxi or was it a real taxi? I had no idea.

Inside, the car was brand new and a lot nicer than many of the other cabs. We argued a while over price, but I couldn’t get him below 50 LE, and I didn’t want to spend the entire day negotiating, so I reluctantly agreed. I told him I lived here and the normal price I paid (25 LE), but he was not bothered and claimed he knew that I lived here and that was why he was charging me “only” 50 LE, his rock-bottom price. I’m not sure if that was just flannel or whether my now darkened skin means that I am starting to look like I belong here! I almost choked when he said he usually charges 170 LE to Sahl Hasheesh and I told him he had to be joking. Somehow, he managed to keep a serious face (I don’t know how they do it!) and protested it was the truth.

Once inside the taxi, I was assaulted by the usual barrage of “All my friends have European girlfriends, won’t you be my girlfriend? I don’t have a girlfriend. I need to have a girlfriend. Are you married? Why don’t you have children? Etc”. I was probably old enough to be his mother. It made me appreciate Esmat all the more. I’d almost forgotten what those early days were like, so maybe it was good to have the reminder.

Still, although the hassling is irritating, it is essentially harmless and I arrived home safely and the car was very comfortable. I’d now basically spent 50 LE to return my dustbuster, but it was still better than losing all my refund, so I can’t complain (much!).

El Andalous - Purchase of a Kindle Paperwhite

El Andalous Beach

I started reading a lot more once I purchased my first (keyboard) kindle. It took me a while to get used to the grey screen, but I loved having all the books I need on it. Also, I had the 3G version which meant I could check how my shares were doing in between chapters. My idea of heaven! Then amazon, maybe understandably, blocked the use of non-amazon sites with 3G. But I still loved my kindle.

I have a bit of a strange relationship to money – sometimes I seem to throw money away on stupid things and then refuse to spend it when it would be quite sensible to do so. Anyway, having originally splashed out for a kindle, I was determined to get as many free books as possible, thinking this would then “pay” for the kindle. Over time, this has morphed into me downloading the freebies from self-published authors, at least in part so that I can see what my competition is doing. If I particularly like the author, I do make a point of buying one of their other books at a later date.

Anyway, I digress. I now read every day when I’m on the beach and, alas, one day my kindle reached its expiry date. It had been acting weirdly by flipping me back to page 1 of my book at random intervals and I’d lived with that, but now it would only let me see half a screen.

However, now I could finally buy the kindle paperwhite, which I’d been hankering after for ages but couldn’t justify purchasing while my current kindle operated perfectly fine. Hurrah! Now I could buy it, guilt-free! However, I’d forgotten I was in Egypt and that amazon doesn’t deliver to Egypt. Without my kindle, I felt as if I’d lost an arm.

After putting out a query on one of the expat forums, I was pointed to a facebook site that allegedly procured kindles for people in Egypt and I also found a website that acted as a third-party between various US sites (including amazon and ebay) and delivering to Egypt. Unfortunately, after trying four or five times and contacting the latter company, I still couldn’t get the website to accept my credit card. Not sure what went wrong there, but it happens.

I kept on looking at the facebook site and wondering if it was safe to order from. And then – for the first time in my life, I was grateful for that targeted advertising – an advert from souq.com displayed the paperwhite beside my email account. The paperwhite had been out of stock when I looked there before. So, I ordered from souq.com (and the paperwhite soon went out of stock again). I didn’t have any choice about 3G (wifi only), what colour to have (only black), or to have it “without offers” (i.e., adverts), but compared to no availability, and given that it was at least the most recent, improved version of the paperwhite, I was still utterly delighted.

The paperwhite is great – good visibility in the sun and in bed without any lights on, and it’s easy on my eyes. I was dubious about the touch screen, since I liked the keyboard (and I associate touch screens with those loathed smart phones), but actually it is pretty good. It has just enough resistance that I can wipe off the occasional grain of sand or a stray fly without turning 20 pages in the process, but is sensitive enough that I don’t have to thump it to go the next page. Life in Egypt isn’t so limiting after all!

However, I will need to order the dedicated cover when I’m back in the UK. The lack of cover means that my paperwhite is already getting a bit soiled on the back, even though I’m putting it in my bag very carefully so that it doesn’t get sand all over it. There are some black, non-amazon covers available here, but I really would prefer not to have black (it gets lost too easily in my bag) and I want the facility where you don’t have to turn the paperwhite on because the cover does it for you (yes, the height of laziness!). But the purchase of the cover can wait (well, no choice but to wait, if I’m honest).

Egypt - Food Oddities

Sahl Hasheesh - Sunset from The Entrance Piazza

I suddenly realised the other day that there are a few food oddities here that I haven’t mentioned before. This partly came to mind because I finally found the list I wrote for my Five Learnings blog and one of the items I’d forgotten was about food. So, there are three food things in total, and I’ll start with the one I originally forgot.

1. Crisps. In Switzerland it was always a bit of a joke that they have only two flavours of crisps. I can’t even remember what they were now, but it was something like Ready Salted and Barbecue. Those were the only options. It was a bit exaggerated, of course, because they do sell Pringles etc in Switzerland, but I believe the flavours were somewhat limited. You’d think with Egypt being a struggling country that having a variety of crisp flavours would not be among their priorities. However, the options they have are many and “interesting”. I don’t really eat crisps myself, but I keep a stock for social occasions. I currently have “Sour Cream and Greenery” (whatever that is!), “Lemon and Chilli” and the verging-on-ordinary “Tomato and Basil”.

2. Fruit Juices. When I first came here, I pictured myself making my own freshly squeezed orange juice every day. As it turns out, I’m too lazy. I’ve done it a few times, and it is cheaper than buying it in the supermarket, but either my juicer isn’t very good or I don’t have the right technique, but I feel I may almost as well squeeze them by hand. It’s quite a frustrating exercise. The fresh orange in the supermarket I’ve found to be a bit variable. Sometimes, it’s great, at other times it tastes a bit weird. In Switzerland I always bought fresh orange juice (and now I can’t drink concentrated orange – yuk!), but here I’ve turned to the long-life cartons of 100% juice. They are great. And, again, totally different from the usual in Switzerland or the UK (I’m thinking, orange, apple, grapefruit). In my fridge, I currently have guava with apple, mango with peach, and red grape. Nothing added. All 100% juice. They aren’t particularly exotic flavours over here. They are lovely!

3. Chocolates. I did wonder if I would ever see quality chocolate again one I’d moved over here, but I needn’t have worried. Most of the big brands are here (Lindt, Cadbury’s, Ritter Sport). There are also Egyptian brands which, of course, are a lot cheaper. There’s an Egyptian equivalent of Kit-Kat that’s half the price of the original Kit-Kat and really it’s not bad. If I fall on bad times, I could definitely live on it, but generally my tastebuds crave the familiar, so mostly I go with my “home” brand. I was surprised at how cheap even the European brands were over here. Initially I thought it must be because Egyptians wouldn’t be able to pay even the local UK price for a bar of chocolate other than as a lavish treat. In fact, I’ve been out of the UK so long now, that I’m always surprised at how expensive chocolate is in the UK. In my head, it should still be 25p a bar. Anyway, when I looked a bit more closely, I realised that that the imported chocolate bars were cheap because they come in much smaller sizes than in Europe. This is super as the increasingly larger portions in Europe really annoy me. Often, I just want to satisfy a chocolate craving; I don’t necessarily want to guzzle loads (but it’s hard to stop once you’ve started, as the marketing folk well know). So, my Cadbury’s bar is cheaper because it’s just 28g, my Flake is 18g, my Galaxy is a massive 40g. I think the chunky Kit Kat (48g) and the Maltesers (37g) could possibly be similar sizes to the UK (I’ll have to look when I’m next over, unless anyone wants to make a comment to the blog to let me know), but from memory most chocolate bars in Europe these days are around 100g each. The beauty of this is that if I have half a chocolate bar (half at lunch and half after my swim is my usual routine), I’m really having less than quarter of a traditional bar. No wonder I’ve been losing weight!

El Andalous - Balcony Furniture

New Furniture - My Daytime Working Space

Up until now, apart from a swinging chair (which I’m quite proud of, I must admit!), I’ve just been using my dining table and chairs as places to sit on the balcony. They’ve served quite well and the chairs are quite useful since you can move them about – believe it or not, I move them about so that they’re always in the shade. With the computer on my lap, it’s just too hot in the sun.

When I bought my swinging chair, I started sitting mostly on that, but now that the weather is getting hotter, I find the chair cushion hugs me a bit too closely and I get rather sweaty, so I’ve gone back to the dining chairs, which are kind of netted in design, so there’s always air around you.

I also discovered that in the summer, my balcony is always in the shade; it gets sun only in the winter. This is actually ideal.

Anyway, with all this information now in place, I felt in a position to order some balcony furniture. I’d seen a set ages ago that I liked, so I went to El Nasr street in the hope that it would still be available (indeed, in the hope that the shop would still exist). It was really too expensive, but I hoped to get the price down. Besides, it was a one-off purchase that I would use a lot, so I may as well go for what I wanted rather than settle for something else and forever be thinking of the one that got away.

The good news was that the shop was still there and so was the desired furniture. I asked them to measure it, but to my dismay the sofa was too long for the space I had available. On letting them know this, they re-measured it and all of a sudden the measurements met my needs (This is Egypt). At this point, I asked to do it myself; I established that there was no way it would fit.

I decided that maybe I could have the smaller 2-seater sofa and 2 armchairs; at this point the guy serving me suggested I speak to the manager on the phone since he wasn’t able to negotiate a price for me. My heart sank as phone conversations are usually not good; I can never understand a word. However, the guy spoke excellent English. It turned out they had only one armchair and this wasn’t enough.

Before I knew what was happening, he was bombarding me with pictures of various similar suites that they had and rattling off prices. Having said that, he was being very helpful. I decided to carry on looking round the shop.

Upstairs there was a similar suite where the 3-seater was not quite so long (I made sure I measured it!). So, there I was on the phone again, negotiating. I was pushing for 6k LE total, but we ended up agreeing I could have what I required for 7k instead of 10k LE (the 10k was for the entire suite, though), but that I would go back home and measure up again to see if I could squeeze the sofa into the space. He added that delivery would be free but that he’d add 100 LE for all the consultancy he was giving me, which coincidentally, was the exact same price as the delivery fee. I couldn’t be bothered arguing and I took it as a sign that maybe I was approaching his liimt.

I was impressed, because he followed up the conversation with an email attaching pictures of everything else he had available. I eventually made up my mind, sneaked in an extra corner table into my order, and reiterated the price (I was now ordering the entire suite minus one armchair). He agreed without hesitation, which made me wonder if I could have haggled more, but I was happy enough.

The delivery people came and then insisted on a tip, which surprised me a bit, since when I agreed the final price, the 100 LE had turned back into a delivery charge. I didn’t really know what to give them (this is the major problem). I gave 50 LE which I thought was very generous as it was basically an extra 50% on top of the delivery charge (but only 10 LE per person, as five of them unpacked), but having just handed over 7100 LE for the suite, I got the impression they thought I was being a bit stingy. I’m always acutely aware that for many Egyptians I am paying out ridiculous amounts of money for non-essential items and I feel quite embarrassed about that. But, then, I wonder how much they also play on that embarrassment. It’s a nightmare.

Nevertheless, once I’d sorted out where to put the furniture (I ordered the 3-seater even though it didn’t fit where I wanted it to go), I’m very happy with it. My balcony now feels like home and I feel a bit like some colonial lady overlooking my property!

El Andalous - Writing

El Andalous - Shisha Area

I guess it’s about time I wrote about my writing, since that was one of my proclaimed reasons for coming over here and I haven’t really talked about it at all. Most writers have blogs to help sell their books, but my one is really as much for me to have a record of what it was like to settle over here than anything else.

Anyway, how’s my writing going? Well, as I’ve mentioned, last November I did write and publish “25 New Year’s Resolutions – for Dogs!” However, I didn’t have time to market it before Christmas and I really want to get a few other similar books out before plugging it too much, as it’s better to have a series to sell than just one. That way, if you make your book available for free as a marketing strategy (this can get you higher up on the “most popular” rankings), people who like your freebie may subsequently proceed to buy one of your other books. Consequently, if you don’t have any other books to sell, you’re a bit stuffed.

So, I’m in the final stages now of “25 New Year’s Resolutions – for Cats!” and I’ve drafted out some ideas for “25 New Year’s Resolutions – for Fish!” They may never sell, but they’ve been fun to write. In September, I will probably be working at marketing them properly this year. I may even give the Dogs book a bit of an overhaul.

I’ve completed the second draft of my debut novel, “Time Tells”. Unfortunately, I’ve got a major hole in the plot that I somehow need to overcome. Still thinking about that one! Recently, I’ve started an initial draft of “Space Shapes”, my second novel (I’m currently up to Chapter 6). Like the “New Year’s Resolutions” series, I want to have at least two novels out at the same time before I publish anything. Whereas “Time Tells” is very plot driven, “Space Shapes” is very character driven. Unfortunately, I don’t think characterisation is my writing strong point, so I’ve been taking a few courses.

There’s one run by the Open University (OU), which has about another two weeks to run. They’ve had something like 25,000 people taking this online course, so it’s a bit overwhelming with all the people contributing, but it’s brought a few things into focus for me that perhaps I’d missed, so it’s been useful. In addition to this, I’ve enrolled on two courses by Dean Wesley Smith, recommended to me by a friend. He’s based in the US, the courses are a series of videos followed by weekly assignments on the course topic. Each course has a maximum of 12 participants, so it’s more personal, and a lot more specialised and intense, than the OU course, but you have to pay for it!

I’ve been taking the “Character Voice and Setting” and “Depth” courses (one is just finishing, the other is just starting). It’s been very useful to spend some time thinking about what it is that I’m doing and to understand the sheer variety of techniques available; it’s almost overwhelming. Again, it’s also helped to bring things into focus. I hope I manage to improve my writing as a result.

Anyway, as you can see, I’m not spending my entire life swimming and socialising! Also, just because you may not see me publishing anything for long periods, this doesn’t mean that I’m not beavering away in the background. It’s all going on, I promise!

Egypt - Renewing Visa

Hurghada, Senzo Mall

Well, my first seven months came and went and it was time for me to renew my visa. I made a bit of a newbie mistake last time – when you get a visa, you need your tourist residential visa and a re-entry visa if you want to travel outside of Egypt. The re-entry visa is valid for a maximum of 6 months and I thought this meant that the main visa would have to have the same duration. However, it turns out that you can get a year’s tourist residential visa and then you just apply later for a second re-entry visa, if you need it. So, this time, I opted for a year’s visa.

Doing things a second time is always mildly satisfying as you get to reflect on how far you’ve come meanwhile. Last time I got my visa, I had my broken foot and I was using Esmat for the first time. My foot now is like it was never broken and I can’t imagine life here without Esmat!

Rules for visas here tend to change fairly frequently. This isn’t so surprising given that the Egyptians have overthrown three governments in fairly quick succession and each time the country has to try and gather itself together and try again. Anyway, it used to be the case that you applied before 10am and then got the visa before 2pm. Now, you need two days as you can’t get the visa on the same day that you apply. Rumours are that there are greater security checks these days.

It’s a bit annoying as that means two taxi journeys (and thus more expense), but I guess it’s also helping the economy a bit because I’m spending more money.

As it turned out, Esmat wasn’t available, so his father-in-law, who speaks no English, drove me there instead. He’s a nice cheery guy who can also look grumpy at times (yes, I know, it’s a strange combination) and I tried out a few bits of my faltering Arabic on him, although I’m not too sure he always even realised I was trying to speak Arabic. But we got by.

There was additional security this time at the passport office, so I had to have my handbag checked before going in. The guy took out the insulated bag inside it and asked me what it was, so I explained it was water. He never looked inside to check; he just wore an expression on his face that the penny had suddenly dropped, and let me in. That was very Egyptian, somehow. The Egyptian people are really quite curious (and gossipy!) by nature.

Ironically, I was less well prepared on this occasion. Last time, I had all the required photocopies with me plus spares; on this visit, I finally got to the desk with my completed forms, only for the official to inform me that I needed photocopies of my last visa and my entrance visa (I’d forgotten that!) plus a new rule stipulated that I needed an extra copy of the photograph page of my passport. Last time, I’d brought extra copies of everything, so I felt a bit foolish. Maybe I’m becoming too blasé.

However, the passport office now has its own photocopier, which is a huge improvement (they didn’t have a photocopier before, so you were stuffed if you didn’t possess the right number of pages. The nearest copier was miles away). For some reason, government buildings always seem to place their photocopiers outside and never in the building. This would be impossible in Europe due to rain, but it seems to work OK over here, although it always feels very strange to see that huge machine standing outside. You just pay the guy directly for your photocopies.

I decided I may as well make the most of my journey, so I asked to be dropped off at Senzo Mall to do some shopping. Esmat’s father-in-law looked a bit confused at first and phoned Esmat. I should really know by now that if I don’t have Esmat, it always flummoxes them if I ask to do anything other than go straight back. Anyway, he dropped me off somewhere a bit odd, so I had to ask him how to get to the Mall; he drove forward about four inches and showed me a hole in the bushes that I could go through and the Mall was just opposite. It was a bit strange, but handy enough! I am becoming more local by the month, obviously.

Esmat ended up picking me up from the mall because, he said, his father-in-law had said he’d already done quite enough work for one day. Esmat laughed and said it was fine, because he was a retired man who didn’t really want to work, but that he had no idea what a long day at work was! I didn’t take it personally and, as it turned out, he phoned Esmat up while I was in the car to let him know that he shouldn’t forget me.

I collected my visa the next day without a problem, so I’m now sorted for a year. I wonder what the next 12 months hold?

Sahl Hasheesh - Second Haircut

Egyptian Pillars by the Pier

I have this horrible habit of not really planning when to get my hair cut. I just wake up one day and suddenly feel that I can bear it no longer, and my hair needs cutting today. In Switzerland, I had the same stylist pretty much most of the time. Although I couldn’t always get an appointment on the day I requested it, she pretty much tried to make herself available whenever I turned up.

Anyway, time is pressing on, and I had one of those “must get my hair cut” days. Nobody seems willing to recommend a hairdresser here, which doesn’t bode well. Stuck for any better idea, I thought I may as well go back to where I went before. The experience had been a bit bizarre, but I had come out of it alive.

Unfortunately, the shop was closed when I got there. Businesses come and go in quite quick succession here, so it didn’t seem entirely unlikely to me that the place had closed altogether. It wasn’t particularly easy to tell just by looking at it, since it had always looked a bit strange in the first place. In the end, I thought maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try somewhere else.

I thought I would try in the Premier Romance hotel. It is a fairly upmarket establishment so their hairdresser should be of decent quality. Anyway, I was just finding my way into the hotel when someone asked me what I was looking for, so he invited me to stay inside his shop, where there was air conditioning, while he found out whether the salon was operating. I was grateful for the cool air, as I had already manoeuvred us during conversation into the shade rather than in the sun.

Anyway, he came back and showed me the way to the salon. It looked much more like a hairdresser than the other place – there were basins, there were towels, there were mirrors. I agreed to have just a trim and negotiated the price, which was considerably higher than my last cut.

It started off well. The hairdresser was a charming young girl who laughed a lot. However, as she started to cut my hair, I began to have my doubts and I suddenly recalled that maybe it was the Premier Romance where Kathleen had said she’d had her hair cut and it was so bad she had to go elsewhere immediately afterwards. I had no idea what the hairdresser was doing, but it looked pretty chaotic.

It was only supposed to be a trim, but she seemed to be trying to even up my asymmetric hairstyle and was hacking all the hair round my right ear where it was previously long. Then she would plump it all up in a big mess on top of my head, put her hands in the air and say “wonderful!” I kept on thinking that I must have faith, because I often panic when in the hairdressers. Maybe she knew what she was doing and where she was going to end up. Eventually, I latched on to the fact that her mission – from her, not me – was to remove all my grey hairs; hence the chaotic nature of it all.

It was eventually over. I guess it could have looked worse, but it wasn’t really what I’d call a trim and the original style was now lost, but since it’s a good 7 months since I was last in a “proper” hairdresser, maybe my hope of a good hairstyle has disappeared forever.

Then, to my surprise, she asked if I wanted to have it washed. This isn’t exactly the normal order of things. I asked if it was included, she nodded, but I suspect she hadn’t understood. Anyway, we went over, I had my hair washed. She informed me she was putting hammam oils onto my hair and they needed to be left for three minutes. One minute later, she came back and rinsed it out. So much for that!

I could have dried my hair better myself. I have no idea how she did it, but I ended up with the hairdryer cord wrapped round my neck, while she was on tiptoes at some very awkward angle trying to dry my hair. If I thought my previous experience was strange, this was truly bizarre.

My only consolation – and I had thought this before getting my hair done – is that next time it needs doing, I will be in the UK, so at least I can maybe start again with a decent hairstyle and then see what happens following on from that.

El Andalous - Returning Items

El Andalous Rooftop Pool - Work in Progress

Well, I guess it had to happen sooner or later, but with all my coffee machine traumas, I ended up having to return the malfunctioning one back to souq.com.

Returning anything anywhere is always a bit of a faff. Anyway, I decided to get on with it since the quicker I did it, the sooner I could be released from the long-winded way of making my coffee.

I looked on the website to learn about the procedure for returns; it said I had to email them for details, so I did that and received a reply fairly quickly. So far, so good.

They said I had to pack the item up (already done! I was proud to be so efficient!), print out the shipping labels using the link they provided, phone the delivery company for a pick up date and then they would refund on receipt of goods. I printed out the labels (I am so glad I have a printer!), but procrastinated when it came to having to phone the delivery company. I could sense that this was where the trouble would lie. And also, of course, I don’t like phones.

After a day and a half, I decided I needed to get it over and done with. When I finally got round to it, I was surprised to find I could understand pretty much every word the woman said on the phone. What had I been worrying about? Why did I delay? She said they’d phone back soon to let me know the pick-up date and time. It all sounded good.

But after I put the phone down, I started to think. I can’t seem to be on the phone and think at the same time. What exactly did “soon” mean? Would they phone me back in 10 minutes, two hours, two days, two weeks? I wanted to go out and swim, but were they about to call me? Hmmm.

In the end, I decided to take my mobile to the beach and if it rang while I was swimming, well, they could just try again. Luckily, they phoned just as I was about to leave my sunbed for my swim. Unfortunately, this time I couldn’t understand a single word that the person was saying to me.

In the end I tried asking questions that required one word answers in the hope that this would make it easier. Unfortunately, my question of “Which date, today or tomorrow?” resulted in a sentence I couldn’t understand. I wasn’t entirely convinced he was speaking English.

I tried again, this time giving something that required only “yes” or “no” as an answer. I asked “You will pick it up tomorrow?” and followed it with the word for “tomorrow” in Arabic. Suddenly, I got a sentence of which I could get the gist. It was: “Ah, in that case I will cancel it”. With that, he hung up.

I stood there on the beach, having no clue what had happened there. Was it cancelled altogether, was it cancelled and reordered for tomorrow, was he going to call back? I now remembered why I had procrastinated on this phoning lark.

I hummed and hawed the next day, not really wanting to phone, but also not desiring to stay in all day for a pick up that may never happen. I needed to know where I stood. Now, however, the conversation I wished to have was more complicated than before. If I couldn’t get the basic one completed successfully, what chance did I have of making myself understood this time? Don’t get me wrong. I’m completely aware that I’m in Egypt and I should be able to speak Arabic well enough to deal with these situations. And I am trying to learn, it’s just that I still have to cope with life in the mean time!

Anyway, I ended up picking up the phone and trying again. The first time, the woman wanted an order number, which I didn’t have. I suggested giving her my phone number like last time so that she could look me up on their system. This went quite well until she asked me to wait for a moment and then hung up the phone three minutes later.

After deliberating, I decided to try again. This time, half-way through the conversation with someone else, it appeared that the woman on the other end could no longer hear what I was saying, so she just ended the call in mid-conversation, saying “Thank you for calling Aramex”.

Finally, I tried going to the Aramex website. After multiple attempts to create an account (I will spare you the details), I left an email to ask if they could pick the machine up tomorrow.

Nevertheless, the primary question still wasn’t resolved, which was whether the guy from the day before had reordered the pick up for today. I wasn’t even entirely sure if I had to pay for the pick up. In the end, I gave the package and some money to our guys on reception and tried to explain that Aramex may or may not collect it, and they may or may not require money, but if they did, here it all was. Fortunately, this request appeared to be understood without too much problem.

To my complete surprise, when I returned from swimming, the parcel had been picked up and I hadn’t needed to pay. Now, of course, I was left with this out-of-date request for a pick up the following day and no means of contacting them to let them know (it was one of those online forms rather than an email address that I used). Still, I hoped that maybe it would be clear from their system.

Another question was whether they would do as I requested and just send me a replacement, or whether I needed to get the refund and re-order it. I tell you, life can be so confusing!

Finally, I noticed that the money had been refunded to my credit card, so I ordered the item again, and I'm now back to making coffees fairly easily (fingers crossed!). All this hassle wasn't in my original picture of paradise!