El Andalous - Fish

Arabian Picasso Fish

One of my main aims in coming over here was to swim every day and I’ve kept to it fairly religiously. I’ve had the occasional day “on” (the opposite to a day off) if there’s stuff that I’ve needed to get done (eg, Swiss admin or I want to speed up a bit on my writing projects), but otherwise I’m at the beach from around 2.30pm to 5.30pm. An hour of that is taken up with swimming. The rest of the time I read.

Ever since the water’s got warmer, I swim quite a lot with my head in the water gazing around for fish (I wear goggles, so I just hold my breath; not sure how good that is for my health!). I take my digital underwater camera with me each day to take photographs. It makes the swim more interesting, but I suspect in the winter I will just swim, and faster, to keep warm.

Taking my camera helps me to focus more on what I’m seeing. It gets quite easy to stick your head in the water and just think “oh yes, seen that fish before” and not look that carefully. I’ve invented the challenge for myself of taking the best picture possible of every fish that I see and to collect photos of as many different species as I can.

It’s great as I now look a lot more carefully as I go. There are so many tiny fish just hiding in among the coral. If I take photographs, I also get a better look at the fish, and at my leisure, afterwards (assuming the fish didn't swim away before I pressed the shutter).

And then there are fish that hide on the ground that I’m sure I must have missed before. For example, I saw a sea cucumber today. It just looked like a cucumber-shaped lump of rock covered with sand, but as I swam past I thought I could spot an eye peeking out at me. I swam round it for a while and then part of its body moved and I was suddenly sure it was a living thing.

The fish are amazing; many are beautiful, some are weird, others are just so well camouflaged that I find it hard to know whether I’m looking at a rock or a fish. I think I saw a bearded scorpionfish the other day. I would never have seen it had I not spotted it settling onto the coral. It immediately turned itself into the colour of the coral and even though I knew it was there, I couldn’t make it out at all. One of the fish kept on trying to feed off it and it suddenly changed its colour to match the dead grey coral beside it. Immediately, within a second, it had altered itself. I have a photograph, but it’s a bit pointless because it just looks like a random piece of coral, even when I zoom in.

I’m more aware now of what I have seen before and what’s new, so I get a sense of excitement each time I see something I hadn’t spotted before (and sometimes a sense of frustration if I can’t get a photo in time).

But, me being me, I can’t do this without some kind of end plan in mind. I’ve almost finished 25 New Year’s Resolutions – For Cats! (so look out for it on amazon in October!) and my next book in that series will be For Fish!  Apparently, collecting fish is the second-most popular hobby in the world. I found that quite astonishing. I guess stamp collecting is the number one? Anyway, by looking more carefully at the fish, I’m also getting more ideas for the book, so that’s further justification for my activities.

I’m additionally thinking that maybe I will write a snorkeling guide to Sahl Hasheesh showing all (well, many of) the fish that can definitely be seen if you go snorkeling within this small-defined area. I can expand it to Hurghada at a later date. I could then use my best photos as illustrations.

All in all, at the end of the day when I come off the beach, I always feel chilled and happy with life and that’s probably worth as much as anything!

El Andalous - Pictures

Il Gusto Beach

You know you must be getting settled when finally there’s nothing left to unpack.

For a long time, my pictures remained in the removal packaging, leaning up against the wall by my front door. I didn’t really want to put them up until I knew which additional furniture I would have and where.

Two of the items were mirrors still in the packaging from when I first moved to Switzerland, so after seven years I was rather curious to see what they would be. I hadn’t brought much over to Egypt (as advised by all), so anything that came across was definitely going to be used.

Unpacking them was a bit like Christmas as I found things I’d forgotten I had. The two mystery items turned out to be a huge mirror in a light wooden frame (now on my balcony) and a small circular mirror with cracked mirror pieces as decorative edging. I had a bit of a mirror phase many moons ago, so most of my “pictures” were in fact mirrors.

Putting them up would be another problem, though. I hate putting pictures up anyway. It seems such a simple task, but it’s a faff getting the hooks in the wall, making sure the hooks are strong enough, and then ensuring the pictures are straight. I’ve failed at each of those three tasks more than once in the past.

I searched for a long time over here for picture hooks, but they weren’t easy to find. First of all, they aren’t of the same shape as in the UK. They aren’t hooks as such, just an L-shape with one of the sides being a screw. The next problem was to locate hooks that were sufficiently strong. Here, I could only do my best; I was a bit sceptical that the biggest size I could find was really fit for purpose.

At this point, I took the easy option and asked the men here if they could put the pictures up for me. It was July, so it was hot, and although it’s not the most strenuous task, even the men were sweating as they worked. All I had to do was to follow them round and tell them where to put the pictures up.

It sounds really easy, doesn’t it? But somehow, it’s quite stressful having workers in your flat.

I was in inner turmoil about what tip I should give them. On top of that, I had the embarrassment of saying that I’d changed my mind as to where I wanted one of the pictures placed. I debated internally for ages over whether to say something, but in the end I decided this was my one and only chance to do this as I wasn’t doing it again nor was I ever going to do it myself. I watched and worried about the mirrors, because if they weren’t firmly in place, they’d break. The men did a good job, though, and asked me to turn on my fan in my bedroom to make sure that the mirrors were stable. I’m still scared to clean them, though, in case they fall down when I touch them. Oh, and the men provided stronger hooks for me. I have no idea where they got them from.

It took over two hours (I had nine or ten items), so really it isn’t such a small task. At the end of it all, the men did look rather frazzled. I did my usual clumsy attempt at giving them a tip, although one rushed out before I could do this, so I gave his to the other guy to give to him. 

This has resulted in a rather awkward situation as I think the guy genuinely didn’t want to accept the money. He mended my oven for me later and then gave me an invoice stating I’d already paid to the amount of the tip I’d given him before. I didn’t latch on to this, so promptly handed over the money at reception. It wasn’t until the guy at reception looked confused, jabbered away in Arabic, and the men started shaking their heads and laughing that I (believe I) realised what was happening. Anyway, the same guy (I think) came to mend my shower, so I just left that as it was. I’ve temporarily given up on giving tips in El Andalous as it’s causing me – and them – too much trauma.

The funny thing is, though, that I’d spent two hours just sitting there while I watched the men do all the work, but at the end of it, I felt utterly exhausted and in need of a reward for my achievement. I think that’s just how it is here – you complete the slightest task, even if only by (finally) getting someone else to do it for you, and it feels like you have just won an entire battle.

El Andalous - My Purchases

El Andalous Waterfall - Or is it Rain?

I thought I would report back on my progress with that list of purchases I had from when I was back in the UK.

There were a few items that I bought in addition, much to my surprise. An additional two mobile phones, for example, but I’ve already said more than enough about that.

Another bizarre and unexpected purchase was three tubes of toothpaste. I’m a sucker for a three-for-two offer. I haven’t got the hang of buying toothpaste here, although I’ve only bought it once. I got a large tube of Colgate Total, which is the brand I usually get. It looked like the stuff I get at home, but it was a lot cheaper here in Egypt, only it came in one of those tubes with a tiny lid, rather than the nice large lid that you can use to stand it upright.

However, I have my suspicions as to whether the contents actually were the genuine article. This is also standard for Egypt. You’re never too sure what you’re buying. The toothpaste I bought here brought back memories of the 1970s. You squeeze some paste out onto your toothbrush, struggle to close the tiny lid, then the next day the toothpaste has all dried up and you have to dig out a centimetre of white cement before you can get to any usable toothpaste. Repeat each time you clean your teeth. Remember those days? Alternatively, you can squeeze the tube really hard and it will all suddenly squirt out. It’s really tiring and life is too short.

I had the good fortune that my toothbrush heads were on special offer, so I have four now, which should last me two years. I’m on the first one already. Oxo cubes and icing sugar are other items in my cupboards that are available on standby.

I purchased a dress and three new t-shirts. I don’t really need new clothes, but I do need more dresses that I can just slip on and off very quickly and I’m a bit short of t-shirts with sleeves and Primark was cheaper than Egypt. I haven’t worn the t-shirts much yet (they are more for winter), but the dress has been washed several times already.

My clock, my camera, and my Red Sea fish guide are three things I use daily. I’m surprised the camera is surviving my maltreatment. Annoyingly, it has to be soaked in fresh water for 10 minutes if it’s been used in the sea and I keep on forgetting it and leaving it for 2 hours. It’s supposed to remain underwater for a maximum of one hour! The Red Sea guide is good, but I still have photographs of fish that I cannot identify. However, I go through it for hours some evenings and it has named quite a few additional fish for me. And as for my clock, it’s beyond me how I survived without it. I look at it many times a day.

My weather station doesn’t work. Well, I think the main unit is OK for temperature, but the second, outside sensor doesn’t work. I think it can’t access the radio frequencies and the main unit can’t even fetch the time. So that was a bit of a disaster, although its room temperature reading is surprisingly consistent with what my air conditioning tells me it is. Funnily, the unit keeps on telling me that it’s raining because I have a waterfall/fountain next to my flat.

I’ve finished my Shreddies. They sell Cinnamon Toast Crunch here, but it’s six quid! I’m not paying that. Migros didn’t stock the Caotina chocolate powder, so I went without as I didn’t want to spend my time in Switzerland going round supermarkets.

I bought the vitamin B complex, on special offer, for half the price it would be in Egypt, but I’m still not convinced it’s actually doing anything about fending off the mosquitoes. I couldn’t get citronella essence, but the citronella candles I bought have turned out to be ineffective against the critters.

An unplanned item I purchased was a mosquito bite zapper – you place the head of the device over the bite and click it; the tiny electric shocks are supposed to stop the bite from itching. On a head-to-head trial of treating concurrently just one fresh similarly-sized and -itching bite on each leg under each condition, I detected no difference between the effectiveness of the zapper and the effectiveness of my insect bite lotion. Both are OK, actually, but the lotion is less stressful.

The dustbuster is busting dust. I’ve yet to have a “thank God I’ve got that!” moment, but I’ve felt mentally relieved at being able to give my furniture a quick hoover, so that I don’t feel that layers and layers of dust are gradually becoming ingrained into my cushions.

And I absolutely love my new fuscia kindle cover. It’s so bright and easy to see, it’s light, and it’s not leather so no need to feel you need to treat it with care. I can now just put my kindle in my beach bag without worrying that the sand will scratch it. Fabulous!

El Andalous - Malfunctions

El Andalous on My Way Back from Beach

As I said, it’s one of those “everything going wrong” phases.

After I’d got my washing machine repaired, I suddenly started to have no cold water in my shower. I thought the two were connected.

I asked for someone to come and have a look at it (at least I just have to ask the people in-house and don’t have to negotiate with external workmen). As is often the case, it got “forgotten” on first request, but then seen to fairly promptly on the reminder.

Everything in Egypt seems to be about negotiation. He tried to tell me that it was just that the water in the pipes was hot because it was summer. I explained this wasn’t possible, because the water got hotter the longer I ran it. Also, it had just happened in the last few days and it had been summer for a while now. It’s almost winter. In the end, he replaced the showerhead, claiming this was what was making it be only hot water.

I’m not entirely convinced, but the water is at least now not impossibly hot and is cold, but just dribbles, if I want it to be colder. I miss my old shower head because it gave a good hefty jet of water; the new one is a bit timid for my liking, but it’s functional. Like many things, you get a fix, but it’s not really quite the fix you want. You need to be patient over here. It’s also a typical interaction – the first tactic is always to avoid doing anything (hence having to ask twice, having to push back on the argument as to the cause, etc).

It was similar with the air conditioning, where I was less successful (if you can call my interaction over the hot water a success, that is). I thought that my air conditioning was rather slow in cooling down my flat, so Safi kindly requested for mine to be checked at the same time as hers was being seen to. The check just consisted of leaving the air conditioning on for an hour while they saw how fast the temperature fell. It’s predictable that they won’t see a drop from 32 degrees to 27 degrees within an hour as a problem. The temperature is dropping and we should be happy with that.

I’ve never had air conditioning, so I don’t really have any comparison, but I felt it should dip much quicker than this. I mentioned that and the guy just claimed that because it was summer, it felt like a long time for the temperature to drop because the temperature had further to fall before it was a manageable heat. I didn’t really have any other argument, so had to accept that this was just how it is. It’s actually not so bad in any case, as they say; I would kick up more of a fuss if it was totally unmanageable, but it isn’t.

Nevertheless, despite the ease of having all services available in-house, it still feels like a struggle each time!

El Andalous - Internet Woes

Sahl Hasheesh from El Andalous Beach at Low Tide

I seem to be going through one of those phases where something is always going wrong. Or maybe that’s just what life is like in Egypt. I have this dictionary on my computer where you can spell what a word sounds like in Arabic (using the English-language alphabet) and it will give you a list of options, along with audio, in return. They also say how commonly the word is used. The word for “repair” was designated as a word in daily use. Says it all, really.

Anyway, my latest problem is the internet. It’s always been a little hit and miss but not so bad, really. Lately, I intended to upgrade my package to greater use as I’m working on the covers for my New Year’s Resolutions series and need to download pictures etc. However, as usual, whenever I try to upgrade or change package, the guy on the desk dissuaded me, seemingly thinking that it would all go horribly wrong (if I upgraded) or that it wasn’t suitable (if I changed package).

I let myself be persuaded and stuck with my normal package, but I was right and I’d used half of my month’s allowance in 7 days. I topped up, so it’s not a huge problem apart from cost.

Then, pretty much just after I’d topped up, my modem battery refused to work. No internet. Disaster!

I had to get a taxi into Senzo Mall to ask the internet provider for a new battery, which was annoying as I’d been there just the day before, so didn’t need any shopping at all. Paying for a taxi just to get a new battery seemed rather expensive, but I need the internet almost as much as I need water.

Unfortunately, this was a Friday (the weekend here) with prayers midday, and this was when my battery decided to give up (I don’t think the battery had given up because it was praying instead; however, when it gave up, I certainly resorted to a few prayers). Consequently, Esmat wouldn’t be available for the next few hours. I went for a swim and took my mobile with me to the beach in case Esmat phoned back to arrange a time to go, which he did.

His uncle, Sayed, came to collect me at 4.30pm to go to the Mall. However, we hadn’t even exited Sahl Hasheesh when the car broke down. I was starting to feel doomed. After a while, the taxi was able to go again, but we were only able to drive very slowly, so Esmat came to pick me up and I swapped cars. Eventually, I arrived.

Once at Senzo Mall, the guy at the internet desk persuaded me that it was a problem with my sim card. I in turn persuaded him this time to let me deposit enough money so that when my top up was used up (which would probably only see me through for a week), I could migrate to a heavier usage account. I came away armed with a new sim card and fully charged credit.

However, when I got back, I realised I should have insisted that I knew what I was talking about. It was a battery problem. The modem still didn’t work. All that money wasted on the taxi!

I tried to phone Esmat to tell him to come back so that I could return immediately to Senzo, but the phone kept on telling me my phone had active diverts. Of course, I had no clue what that meant, so I spent a lot of time trying to cancel diverts that I didn’t know I had. After an hour, I gave up trying to get through to Esmat. I guess he was refusing calls because he was busy getting his other car sorted out and maybe that’s what the phone meant by active diverts (they were rather inactive, in fact).

I got up early the next morning, keen to get to Senzo Mall and get my internet back. However, I’d forgotten that the Mall doesn’t open until 10am. Anyway, I got there by 10.15am and I asked for Esmat to wait for me as I didn’t expect to be long (it’s common in Egypt for drivers to wait).

There was one customer already at the desk and I had to wait for ages. Finally I was served but only to be told that they didn’t sell the batteries. They directed me to the mobile shop, and the guy there in turn directed me back to the internet kiosk. Nobody sold batteries. The guy suggested I try a shop in central Hurghada.

I asked whether I could just have a new modem, since it was still under guarantee, but he said they didn’t have any, and there weren’t any in central Hurghada either. I could put my name on the waiting list if I was unable to get a new battery. Aarrgh! This is Egypt.

I got back in the taxi, apologised for having taken so long, and off we went to the suggested shop. It was around 11.15am as we arrived. However, we got there only to find that the shop didn’t open until 12.30pm. On we went to another shop, which also didn’t open until 12.30pm. It’s a late-night culture here with many shops open until midnight, but are then closed in the mornings. The next shop was open but didn’t sell the battery I needed.

The end result was that I had had another long taxi trip without achieving anything at the end of it. This battery was getting very expensive and I hadn’t even got it yet, if it existed. Esmat volunteered to go back to the shops for me later. As I write this, I am still without internet access and plan on posting this to the blog by having a coffee at a cafe where they have wifi.

I’m getting withdrawal symptoms. If I don’t have internet access, I’m sure my world will fall apart. But at least (touch wood) I have a functioning laptop, so things could be worse!

El Andalous - Electricity Supply

El Andalous - Garden and Pool

Everything in Egypt is a bit uncertain. The politics, the time (when will it go forward, when will it go back?), the roads (that’s a road??), internet connection and electricity supply are all good examples. I think it's worth recounting the uncertainty of electricity supply in one blog - I've already mentioned it a bit from time to time as it's part of life, but sometimes I forget to describe certain small incidents that aren't worth a blog in their own right.

I’ve said before that Sahl Hasheesh has one day each month for an electricity upgrade or check of some kind and on that day we are without electricity from 9am until 2pm. It’s not so bad because you are forewarned.

At one stage, it felt as if we had in addition random power cuts fairly frequently at around 8pm, but that seems to have passed now. However, last week we had one of the longest power cuts since I’ve been here – from around 7am until 7pm. This time, it wasn’t just Sahl Hasheesh, or just Hurghada, it was the whole of Egypt. Can you imagine – an entire country without electricity for 12 hours? I haven’t found out yet why or how that happened.

As luck would have it, the national power cut occurred on one of the days where I’d forgotten to ensure that all my appliances (mobiles, laptop, modem, kindle, camera, tablet) were charged up before I went to bed, so when I got up, I had only an hour left on my laptop and an hour left on my modem battery. I ended up swimming instead and it was actually quite nice to go in the morning for a change; it felt as if the fish were all in different places from usual.

We also had a phase – I think it was during the World Cup (which is probably relevant) – where the electricity would waver. You’d sit at home and suddenly the lights would all dip and then come back up to full brightness again. It wasn’t quite a disco, but you’d sit there and anticipate a power cut coming any minute and then it didn’t happen. See, even the uncertainty of electricity supply can be uncertain!

Then there was the time when half of my flat lost electricity. I’m still not quite sure what happened. Anyway, I went to my fuse box, saw that one of the fuses was down, so I flicked it back up and the unit gave out a flash and a “bang!” and I smelt burning. It was scary. I felt pretty lucky not to have been electrocuted. It was also accompanied by my entire flat being plunged into darkness. What had I done!

I went to the security guard who came in and flicked the main fuse switch back on. Everything whirred back into life. I couldn’t quite believe it. One socket didn’t work, but everything else seemed fine. I was a bit scared to touch anything electrical in the flat for a while. The next day I asked Medhat if it was really safe for that fuse to have just been flicked back on, but he assured me it was. I’m not entirely sure that he understood what had happened or that he was telling the truth, but there wasn’t much I could do. Nevertheless, I’m still alive at the moment, so it can’t be that bad.

And finally, there’s my oven that can’t be on at the same time as my hob. Eventually, I decided to try to get it sorted. To my scepticism and surprise, they said I just needed a new extension cord. That also didn’t seem like the safe or even workable solution, but actually it worked. So, I now have hassle-free cooking where I can boil my veggies while waiting for my chicken to finish roasting. Life almost resembles normality!

El Andalous - Frustrations

Sahl Hasheesh -Le Clessidre Beach Bar

What’s the point of having a blog if you can’t have a self-indulgent get-it-off-your-chest session?

I don’t even know where to start but I’ll restrict this to two communications issues that I had over the weekend.

Firstly, I wanted to pay some money off my mortgage. I thought the banks were desperate for money? You wouldn’t think it if you look on the websites for information on how to give them their money back.

Mine was further complicated because it is with the Woolwich but the mortgage is handled by Barclays, so I’m not even sure which bank it is I’m dealing with.

Anyway, the website said you had to phone. No other option. It was a freephone number, so they probably think there’s no harm. But I’m in Egypt!

After searching around, I found the online chat. These services are usually pretty good, but this one (I went on it twice) was only giving out information that was already on the website and even then didn’t give me the right number to phone and then linked me to a callback feature which wasn’t available for mortgage customers. They refused to give any email address.

In the end, I had to phone, but it used voice recognition and keying in entries to get you into the correct queue. Unfortunately, the system didn’t recognise my key entries (I hate mobile phones!) and I had to shout across the entire complex before it would hear my voice.

First time round, it routed me to the wrong queue because it misunderstood me. I stayed on for a while, but then got nervous that I would be refused service at the end, so hung up and tried again.

Second time around, and again there was a long queue. But at least it was the correct queue. I could sense the credit on my mobile phone running through my fingers as I waited. I faffed about further on their website to pen a complaint about their lack of service to customers living abroad while I waited. There, on the complaints site, was a number for those living abroad to dial. The world is full of ironies.

I wrote my complaint anyway.

Finally, the phone was answered. The woman seeing to me was very good, so once I was through it was fine. I was left with just 50p credit (5 LE) on my mobile. And I thought I’d just done a large top-up!

The next day, the complaints people emailed me to say that they couldn’t process my complaint unless I provided the Barclay’s sort code number for my bank account! Huh? I don’t have one and it’s completely irrelevant. Just a good excuse to say they don’t have many complaints, I reckon.

Alas, my other issue this weekend was with my kindle paperwhite. My three new books refused to transfer to my kindle. I went to the website and did all the suggested troubleshooting, none of which worked.

So, that was me, on the online chat function again. I got so far with the first guy when he decided I needed a specialist. The specialist came online and then wrote me a message, without even saying “hello” first, that he was ending the conversation because I hadn’t responded!

I tried again. The first guy probably thought I was rude because he wanted to start with “How are you?” but I just dived in with a rant about how I’d just been cut off. Anyway, he put me through to a new specialist.

This guy was very good and very patient, so I don’t have any complaints. It’s just that we were chatting for 2.5 hours trying out various things to get it to work, but the issue didn’t get resolved, and I ended up losing all my books.

Also, in Egypt, I don’t have unlimited internet. I have to buy packages of gigabyte usage each month. So, I had started trying to resolve my kindle problem at 5pm as from 2am-6pm, I still have quite a lot of usage left on my account. I didn't think it would take more than 30 minutes to resolve. From 6pm, my allowance is rather tight, so I wanted to avoid that timeframe. Unfortunately, I had to download a huge file (it crashed first time, 93% through, so I had to do this twice!) and this was after 6pm. Consequently, later in the proceedings, I got a message from my provider warning me that my monthly allowance was 80% used. Aaargh!

In the middle, Safi came round with a guy to discuss whether UK TV could be installed in my flat. And I still had this guy from amazon hanging on the chat. It was all a big mess.

Anyway, in the end, after a factory reset (which is where I lost all my books), he decided that my kindle must be at fault and they’d need to send me a new kindle. He asked me to phone, but I said that I didn’t have enough credit, so he said email would be OK. I warned him that getting me a new kindle may not be so easy since I live in Egypt (they don’t deliver to Egypt), but I didn’t go into details as it was now 8pm and I was getting hungry. And my remaining internet usage was dwindling!

This morning I had three messages from amazon – two about the return of the kindle and one to apologise about being cut off. I had to laugh at their slogan “Your feedback is helping us build Earth's Most Customer-Centric Company”, not, I hasten to add, because I have any bad thoughts about their service.

As it turned out, when I syncrhonised my kindle (again!) this morning, my items suddenly all appeared, so the problem has somehow been resolved. So, at least there is a happy ending there and maybe I should leave today’s blog on that positive note.

Mobile Phones - Rant #3 (Part 2/2)

Sahl Hasheesh - Unsunk Part of Sunken City

OK, so I leave Switzerland with a different mobile phone from when I entered it. To be honest, I felt slightly relieved to be back on older technology. The new mobile had a camera and I was happy with that.

However, once in the UK and snapping merrily away , I discovered that my new phone could take only a maximum of 12 photographs without a memory card. Also, I couldn’t work out how to take the back off, so I couldn’t insert my UK sim card. In retrospect, it might have helped if I’d have read the instructions.

Anyway, I decided to go to a shop, buy a memory card and ask them to insert it. I could then watch them take off the cover. Great plan!

It turned out that the shop had run out of memory cards, but the guy serving did put in my UK sim for me. To my intense joy, he struggled to get the back of the phone off, although I worried about how I would ever cope. He also took a long time to insert the sim card, so once again I was glad I didn’t go near it myself.

I went out of the shop, tried the phone, but the sim card wasn’t working properly. Frustration!

So, off I went to yet another mobile phone shop. This wasn’t how I’d intended spending my holiday! The guy there informed me that the UK sim wouldn’t work because the phone was blocked to take only my Swiss sim card. They could unblock it for 30 GBP in three days. I decided it would be cheaper in Egypt, so I bought just the memory card, which he installed.

Consequently, I returned to Egypt with a mobile phone unable to work in the country in which I live. This definitely hadn’t been on my shopping list!

I needed to be able to use my Egyptian sim straightaway (Hye-Youn had retrieved it from my smart phone and posted it), since it’s expensive for Esmat and others to receive international calls (I had to use facebook in the mean time to order the taxi into town). So, once in Egypt, I was again visiting a mobile phone shop. This really isn’t me.

The woman in the shop said they couldn’t unblock my phone but could sell me a cheap mobile. She offered me the one I’d just bought. It turned out there was a cheaper version with the same features, so I got that, no longer caring since I had mentally completely given up. I just needed to be able to phone Esmat.

Annoyingly, I discovered later, by comparing the two sets of instructions to the two very similar mobile phones, that the original basic phone wasn’t blocked at all and was a dual sim card phone; I had no need to buy an extra mobile and no need to unblock it. It appears to have been a complete lie in the UK shop that the phone was blocked.

I read somewhere that there are more mobile phones than there are people; it’s hardly surprising if even someone who hates mobile phones ends up with three of them and the people serving in the shops don’t know what they’re doing (or maybe they are just corrupt). It’s all one big conspiracy! Still, at least now I could phone within Egypt and get about without worrying about how to contact Esmat.

Next, I wanted to transfer the 12 photos I’d taken on the original basic mobile phone to the memory card. I popped out the memory card from the newest phone, but then I couldn’t for the life of me get it back into either of the Nokias. It just kept springing out, however hard I pushed down with my fingers. I looked at the instructions, but they just said “push it in”. I may have learnt from my mistake of not reading instructions, but reading instructions now didn’t help me!

I looked it up on the internet, but it seemed to be a non-existent problem unless there was something stuck inside the slot. However, both phones were new. It seemed unlikely. Also, I was able to use the memory card on my laptop, so the memory card wasn’t at fault.

In the end, I had to go back to the shop in Egypt and ask them how to insert the memory card. I think the man serving me thought I was a bit strange, and he managed to pop in the card straight away. He looked at me and shrugged as if to say “What’s the problem?” 

I asked to try and then demonstrated how it didn’t work for me, at which point he informed me that I needed to use my nails (thankfully he spoke very good English). Why couldn’t it say that in the instructions? Am I really the first person ever to have this problem?

I’ve now calmed down a bit. I feel a little happier with the simpler phone and if my old phone really is broken, then maybe it’s easier to have one phone for UK and Egypt and another for Switzerland. I still need to fiddle about a bit – I have my current phone so that both sims are operational and I’m getting messages from Vodafone from both sims (sometimes up to 9 messages at a time), which is annoying, so I need to work out how to disable the UK sim for now. I did see something somewhere about that.

Let’s hope this is the end of my mobile phone rants!

Mobile Phones - Rant #3 (Part 1)

Sahl Hasheesh - My Local Ice Cream Shop

Right, I’m back to my favourite topic. The Evil Known As Mobile Phones.

I thought I was well organised for my trip to Europe. I managed to find the UK sim card that I’d bought last time and I remembered to take my smart phone with me. So far, so good.

The first time I needed to use it was when visiting Rajashree in Basel. The plan was for me to get to a specified tram stop, phone her (yes, I knew that was where it would all go horribly wrong!), and she would pick me up from there.

However, when I arrived at the tram stop, I dialled the number, but nothing happened. I wondered if I’d misremembered the code for Switzerland (I was using my Egyptian sim), so I asked a very nice gentleman who was working in his garden who confirmed it for me. In the end I gave up trying to phone and just asked him if he knew the street where Rajashree lived. He did. See, you don’t really need mobile phones at all.

Rajashree seemed to think I needed a Swiss sim as well and I thought that maybe it wasn’t a bad idea. I could pretend to be a jet-setting mobile proficienado. Well, I can dream.

Back in Zurich, I went to a phone shop (did I really spend part of my holiday in a phone shop??). I knew myself well enough to ask the guy to put the sim in my phone for me. There’s no point in inviting trouble. To my great joy, or was it consternation – my emotions were mixed – he couldn’t do it. Just think if it had been me trying to perform the task! He went to a colleague and came back to inform me that my mobile phone was broken and wouldn’t accept sim cards. True enough, I could see the bits hanging down that he was talking about.

This was all in German, so it was a bit of a strain. Anyway, I pointed out that it was working perfectly well beforehand with my old sim and I asked him to put the old sim card back in, which he did, claiming that my phone wouldn’t accept any other sim. It’s all beyond me and I didn’t know what to think. I let him sell me a cheap, basic (phew!) Nokia instead, with sim inserted. I came out of the shop wondering if this whole Swiss sim card idea was really such a good plan after all.

At Hye-Youn’s, my smart phone started to malfunction. Maybe it didn’t like Switzerland. Anyway, it kept on saying (it has done this many times previously as well) that the sim card was not inserted and it wouldn’t show the correct time and I couldn’t use it as an alarm clock or as a camera. I’ve had it less than a year. It had become a stupid phone, or maybe just plain dead. Perhaps it was protesting at having an owner that hated it so much (and now I feel guilty). I left it at Hye-Youn’s by mistake on departing Switzerand. I’m sure psychologists would have a field day.