Flashback - What Else?

Cargo Tram, Zurich - this is like the Electro Tram, but for bulky goods

I hope by now you are feeling suitably sorry for me.

But things didn't stop there.

Between the time I bought my flat in Egypt and hearing that the water and electricity were to be cut, my shares managed to devalue by 50%!  My shares were supposed to be supplying me with the money to live, so I would either have to die early or starve. However, I'm an optimist by nature, and retained confidence that they would recover and that my star share (Iofina) would still perform as I wished next year. For now, at least, I had some funds. But there's always that doubt looming in the background.

And, somehow, having managed to live for over six years in Switzerland as the epitome of A Good Citizen, I suddenly turned into Switzerland's Most Wanted. Yes, my good record in Switzerland suddenly crumbled.

In central Zurich, if you want to get rid of your electrical items, you take them (by foot or by public transport, but not by car or you'll be turned away - I'm not joking here) to the Electro Tram which turns up once a month at a specific tram stop (different tram stops throughout the month).

I really wanted to be a good Swiss citizen, so I  struggled onto the usual tram with my heavy load of electrical items and rode to where the Electro Tram was due. I heaved my rubbish off the tram, looked left, looked right, but no Electro Tram was in sight. I scratched my head, cursed "oh dear!", and wondered what to do.

I was sure the Electro Tram was supposed to be there, so I'd either read my calendar wrong or I'd failed to notice that the Electro Tram didn't come until later in the day. My plan was to go home and find out. If the Electro Tram wasn't due today after all, I would have to come back and collect the items; if the Electro Tram was coming in a few hours' time, I would come back and load my stuff onto the tram at the right time. Consequently, I decided to leave my items temporarily by the recycling centre, while I gathered more information.

I went to get the tram home. But just as I was about to step on the platform, a policewoman rushed up to me and charged me for littering. I wouldn't let her speak. I wouldn't listen. She needed to understand that the Electro Tram should be there and that I planned to come back. In the end she asked me to shut up because she was legally obliged to read me my rights. I could explain everything to her afterwards, she said.

She kindly informed me that I could get a lawyer if I wanted. A lawyer??

Her colleague phoned the rubbish disposal department and found out that indeed the Electro Tram was due that day, but not until the afternoon. I looked expectantly at the policewoman, but she informed me that this didn't matter and she would still have to charge me. She looked at my passport and took down my name, address, date of birth... at this point it dawned on me that this could potentially impact my ability to leave Switzerland.

She explained that although it wasn't a criminal charge, it would have to go to a judge who would decide whether or not to fine me. My head whirred with questions that I couldn't actually ask: "would I have to stay in the country until the judgement was made? what would happen since I was imminently leaving my current address? what should I do since I wouldn't receive the notification at the address I was giving? would my C-permit extension be taken away from me?"

She and her two companions then followed me over to the items I had left by the recycling centre and went through each one to check that it was indeed electrical. She wrote down each thing in her notebook. I was then asked to carry it all home again and bring it back again in the afternoon.

I duly came back with that load later in case they checked up on it somehow, but after that I decided that it was too much hassle to dispose of the electrical items separately and it would be quicker just to put everything in the special collection that I had ordered for 7am on moving day.

On a more minor level, a few weeks later I went to visit Holger, Emil and Annette (hello you three!) in Freiburg in Germany. Stupidly, I'd left a bit late and the queue for tickets in the main station was long, so I just got on the train thinking I would buy a ticket on board rather than risk missing my train.

It turned out you can no longer buy tickets on the train in Switzerland. And so that was another fine. Again, they wanted my address. This time, because I was living at Markus's by now, I gave Markus's address. Unfortunately, they wanted the postcode and I didn't have a clue, so I looked very dodgy (particularly in conjunction with me awaiting a court judgement!). When I couldn't supply the postcode, I asked if I could give my work address instead. Afterwards, I realised that the demand for the fine would not arrive properly at the work address either because they never asked for the workplace name (and there are several companies in the building). I looked on my ticket and emailed the full work address to the authorities. I wanted to pay the fine and clear my name. Although by now it may be too late for that.

I will be leaving Switzerland as a person known to be a Bad Citizen.