The Netherlands - Renewing a Friendship

Idette and Fiona on Fiona's Visit in Feb 2016!

There were a few things that I’d promised myself to do while I was back in Europe and one of them was to visit Idette in the Netherlands.

I think I’ve taken it a bit for granted, to be honest, but when people ask me who Idette is, and I explain that she’s a penfriend that I’ve had for over 35 years, the reaction I get is one of astonishment. I’d like to think that it’s because people think I can’t possibly be that old, but it’s more likely to be the whole concept of keeping up correspondence with someone for that amount of time.

A lot happens in 35 years; we started off writing letters with pen and paper and sending them via the post – remember those days?

If I remember correctly, I think it started off as one of those things you do at school (maybe that should be in the past tense, as I very much doubt it happens any more). I seem to recall that when I was maybe 15 years old a list was passed round at school and you could volunteer to start writing letters to someone in a foreign country. I can’t remember how the people were paired up – I have a vague feeling that I saw a list of names of people who were interested and where they came from and I just thought that Holland sounded interesting. And so it began.

Thinking about it, it was a pretty good school initiative as it was before plane travel was common, and before the internet, and so it was fairly unusual for anyone to know someone from abroad. Back then, the concept of writing to someone living in a different country was extraordinarily exciting and exotic. I can remember feeling thrilled at the idea.

Idette came over to visit me in our teenage years, and I also went over to visit her (this wasn’t a school thing; it was just due to being penfriends). I was a teenager at the time and most of my memories are of things I’m a bit ashamed about (refusing to speak German to her family, working during the summer holiday when she came over to visit), although none of it was badly intentioned; it was just ignorance and lack of thought on my part. I think I’ve learned a bit since then!

Apparently, Idette also visited me when I was in Cologne in the early 80s on my year abroad while at University, but I have no memory of this at all. It’s quite scary. And since then we haven’t seen each other, so that's thirty years gone by. But we've kept in contact, changing from letters to email as technology developed and nowadays mostly via facebook.

Idette really needs to take the credit for keeping the correspondence going all these years, and I’m so glad she persevered with me. Nevertheless, this was going to be the year where I would visit – I flew across this last weekend as the Netherlands are just a short flight from Zurich.

And I had a fabulous time. It was strange to see her again after all those years. The family picked me up from the airport and her daughter was driving the car (her daughter is old enough to drive a car!!). Her husband was so pleasant, too, and Idette and I chatted away in the back of the car on the journey to her house. I felt no awkwardness; it was just lovely.

I was welcomed into her family; it was her son’s birthday on the Sunday (happy birthday again, Bas!) – he was just turning twenty. Fabienne (her daughter) was in a serious relationship, so I met her boyfriend as well, since he was pretty much part of the family, too. And I patted the dog, a beagle, who was just adorable. 

We pretty much just sat and ate and chatted for the entire time, but I can’t describe how good it was to catch up. They fed me on “Bolsse Bollen” (spelled wrongly; I’ve never seen this written – they are like huge chocolate profiteroles), which I remembered absolutely loving from when I visited her before as they are so delicious. Idette remembered doughnuts in Oxford, so it seems that food creates lasting memories (any memory experts out there?). Having said that, I’d completely forgotten that she too was a non-cheese eater (as was also her husband), which just shows how well I choose my friends.

My food memories from this time will be an onion sauce that tastes quite sweet and goes beautifully with "Flemish" chips (thick chips, not thin French fries). To my surprise, the sauce came out of the squeezy bottle in a yellow colour. And then on my morning bread I tried some speculoos spread. I knew the biscuits (which actually I don't like that much), but not the spread. It was also good; maybe a bit sweeter than the biscuits, but a similar flavour. And apparently the Dutch put sprinkles on their bread - yes, chocolate sprinkles! Isn't that weird? I'd have taken a photo, but I was too busy eating.

The “children”, who are adults, were amazing – so considerate, polite, and such good people. I wish I’d had their maturity at that age (or even now!). I’d love to know how Idette has managed this miracle. It was extremely rewarding to see everyone so content and in such a good place.

Anyway, I'm now determined to be a better correspondent and I'm filled with an inner happiness at seeing how well everything’s turned out for Idette and her family.