El Andalous - Reality Bites

For Posterity - My Old Awkwardly-Placed Washing Machine

I’d started off in 2017 feeling quite gung-ho and optimistic. I felt invincible. This was my downfall.

I began with the enthusiastic ambition of organising myself better and I happily imagined how this would help me have an easier life in general. It was a nice idea.

We’re only two weeks in, and I’m already feeling deflated.

I was partly spurred into action by my washing machine breaking down. Well, it’s not exactly broken, but it needs to be fixed each time I use it and now the electronics are malfunctioning, so I have to try 5-6 times before the programme will register. In addition, the drum is very loud and sounds as if it is going to give up any minute.

I decided not only to buy a new machine, but also finally to move it from the bathroom to the kitchen. The space is too limited in the bathroom; the washing machine door can be opened only 45 degrees (see photo). Moving the machine in turn made me decide to increase storage space in both of these rooms. I’d been pining for this for ages.

This would be quite exhausting to do in Europe, but it’s on a different level over here. This is true, even when you’re living in a so-called luxury complex with electricians, plumbers, and a manager there all the time to help you.

I explained to Medhat, our manager, what changes I wanted, and he drew breath and told me that it was very difficult. This is always his reply. I think it really means that he can’t be bothered.

I tried to reply that it wasn’t so difficult – I’d checked with the plumber and there were already fittings in the kitchen for a washing machine and I just needed to move the fridge freezer. In the kitchen, I actually wanted an extra cabinet and some extra shelves put in, but by this time I’d been put off by Medhat’s obvious reluctance, and thought I’d sort that myself (another story).

I asked Medhat if he could arrange for a new cabinet for the basin in the bathroom; the last three times I’ve asked him if he’s ordered it, he just says it will be in the next 4-5 days. I think this is Egyptian for “Stop asking me, please, I don’t want to do this”.

Meanwhile, I ordered a new washing machine online from a shop I know. I thought this would be the easy bit. One day I got a phone call from them and they asked if I’d heard back. When I said I hadn’t, he told me they would phone back again shortly. Within 10 minutes I had an email saying my order was cancelled. No explanation was given at all. Bizarre.

I emailed back to ask why it had been cancelled but got no reply, so ended up going to Spinneys and buying a machine there. They were supposed to phone me with a delivery date. As it turned out, I was swimming in the sea when they arrived. One of the security men had to come down to the beach and yell over at me to come in. He was lucky I heard him as I’d only stopped swimming at that point because I thought something had stung me. The delivery man was annoyed because he’d been waiting for ages, so I told him that he hadn’t phoned. He had, actually, but because I was swimming, I didn’t get the call. It’s not exactly a sufficient notice period!

Anyway, I got the machine. Two days later, the men in El Andalous opened it up for me so that they could prepare for it to be installed. Lo and behold, the machine was damaged on top, buckled on the side, and had a bit flapping out. The men couldn’t see the problem and said it would still work; I tried to explain that it cost a lot of money and I didn’t want a damaged machine.

In the end, Medhat called Spinneys. Apparently they said if I brought the machine back, they’d give me a replacement. I exclaimed to Medhat that it wasn’t a bag of rice that I was taking back and how on earth was I supposed to get the machine back to Spinneys. For a fee, Medhat kindly organized a van and some people to return it, and I got the new machine.

I then had to phone for the manufacturer’s plumber to install it. I’d already phoned when I first got it, but the plumber had never called back. However, since I'd had to take the machine back anyway, I was actually quite glad he'd never contacted me.

Phoning for the plumber was also a bit stressful because all the dialing options were in Arabic and I didn’t really know what I was doing. The first option sounded a bit as if it was saying “If you are Fiona, press 1”, but it obviously wasn’t that. When I phoned this time, they knew who I was when they answered and they greeted me as “Madame Fiona”. It was a bit disconcerting, but at least it was organized. It worked in my favour because the plumber actually came on the same day as I phoned, even if it was at 8pm (you wouldn’t get that in the UK!).

The next day, I happily used my newly-installed washing machine. I went onto my balcony to relax with a coffee, but after ten minutes, I heard a gushing sound. I went in to see what was happening and there was water all over my floor.

As luck would have it, our plumber was away in Cairo. His backup did a very good job of trying to fix it, but he couldn’t. I ended up with more water over my floor. They called in the plumber from one of the other apartment blocks. I got yet more water over my floor. They did succeed in fixing it, but I’ve noticed tonight – not sure if it’s related – that my water pressure has halved. So, if that isn’t fixed, that will be tomorrow’s fiasco.

And getting the washing machine was supposed to be the non-adventurous part of my endeavours…