El Andalous - My Mohammed is Different

Lionfish - Attractive but Dangerous!

Lots of people ask me if I’ve got an Egyptian boyfriend / partner or if I came over to Egypt because of love. Others ask me if I’d be interested in an Egyptian boyfriend. The Egyptian males, of course, are always asking me to be their girlfriend or to marry them (that’s how it is). Well, I’m maybe exaggerating, but at least when I first got here, before I knew anyone, every taxi driver would want to hook up with me and the occasional shopkeeper. It doesn’t happen so much now that I’m settled and have my own circle of friends.

Anyway, “My Mohammed is Different” is a well-known one-line joke in Egypt among the expats. I’ll start with the caveat that there are crooks and scams in every country; in Egypt you get the Mohammeds and in Europe you get phishing and other frauds.

Anyway, Egyptians are very good at playing the long game. You’ll pair up with an Egyptian man, who will pay you loads of attention, make you feel fabulous, introduce you to his family. The cleverer ones will wait a few years and then ask you to marry them. The not-so-clever ones will ask you to marry them after the first date (or maybe even before!). Maybe you’ll be befriended by their sister, who will make you feel safe and comfortable and like you really belong to the family. You get married and then a number of things can happen, depending on the scam or the mentality of the Egyptian playing the game.

The not-so-bad scenario is just that the Mohammed (because many Egyptians are called Mohammed; they don’t actually have to be called Mohammed, of course) is either already married (they can take several wives) and is really just using you to finance the lifestyle he wants with his other wife, or he takes another wife or lover later and doesn’t tell you because he wants to keep you (and your money) sweet. This is why you can see 20-year old Egyptians with women in their 50s, 60s, or above.

Another thing to be aware of is that the Egyptian may ask you to marry him, but actually all he’s talking about is an Orfi certificate (colloquially known over here as a bonking certificate), which isn’t anything legally binding. It just allows you to be married in the eyes of God, so that if the man has sexual relations, he isn’t going against his religion (which doesn’t permit sex before marriage). So, you may think you’re married, but you’re not. The man may have numerous Orfis.

A worse scenario is that once you’re legally married, they’ll ask for divorce. In Egypt, all the wife is entitled to by law is around 10 GBP and the man is entitled to all the money and possessions – regardless of to whom the finances initially belonged. Thus, the whole family is sometimes involved in the scam, which is why you felt so accepted by them. There have been women stranded in Egypt without even enough money to return to their home country.

I have heard stories that are far worse than the above, but it’s not my place go give out others’ personal experiences. I guess, in order to protect yourself, you could have a prenuptial agreement that in case of divorce you get to keep your money, but battling my way though the Egyptian law system is not something I would like to do!

Many people are aware of these scenarios, but when they get into a relationship, they always think that this won’t happen to them, because their “Mohammed is different”. Stephen Lawley is going to write about this, so watch out for his next book when it comes out!

Of course, there are very successful marriages between Egyptians and Europeans which are genuine and just as successful as any other marriages out there. Nevertheless, “My Mohammed is Different” is a much more common scam here than the frauds we’re used to in Europe. Be warned!