El Andalous - Tipping Traumas

El Andalous looking Towards Beach

I’ve been here almost 6 months now but I just cannot get the hang of tipping. I’m an embarrassment to myself!

Let me give you some recent examples.

Yesterday, I did a big shop at Spinneys. As usual, I got back and the people at the desk helped me to carry my goods to my flat. When I first got here, I didn’t tip for this service, but then others told me they usually did, so now I’ve started. However, I’m a bit clumsy at it (this is an understatement!) and many times I don’t even succeed.

The time before last, we had a power cut as I arrived back, so Ahmed took my shopping to the door for me and carried a torch with him. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to tip because there was no light in my flat and I couldn’t see what money was in my purse. So, that was a failure.

The following time, the guy took my shopping to my flat, I went go get the money out of my purse, but he’d disappeared up the corridor before I had time to give him anything. I poked my head out of the door and he was hanging around, but then I felt too embarrassed to run up to him with the tip as it felt too clumsy. And I felt guilty afterwards, because he had clearly been standing in the corridor doing nothing so that I could give him the tip. No-one really won!

This last time, I thought I’d finally got it all worked out. I prepared myself in advance with the money in my hand, all ready to give it to the person who helped me. Unfortunately for everyone, I got completely confused because this time two people carried my shopping to the door instead of just one and I had a tip in my hand only for one person. And even then, the one that did most of the work still managed to run away before I had an opportunity to tip him. The second guy hung around a bit, but I didn’t feel I could give him a tip and not the other one and it was in any case the first guy that had done most of the carrying. I ended up giving neither of them anything. So, that was another failure.

Today, I finally managed to get Medhat and Mohamed to look at the wall in my bedroom to see if they could fix it. While they were there, I asked about getting the holder for my shower head fixed as well.

Medhat looked at the wall and asked me when I was next in the UK. I replied that I would be going in August and he asked if that was the month after May. In all seriousness, I answered that it was the month after July and said the word for “August” in Arabic. Only afterwards, on reflection, did I realise that Medhat was joking as he wanted to do the work while I was not around (due to the room being out of bounds while they worked) and he was really hinting in a jokey manner that he needed it to be sooner. I then got myself into a twist that what had actually happened is that I’d basically just insulted him on his English and had shown myself to have no sense of humour at all. I tell you, it’s a social nightmare here!

Medhat then got someone in to fix my shower for me. I prepared my tip in the background while I waited. They guy left the flat and I thought he said “finished”, so I tried my best to thrust my tip upon him. Nicole had said they always refuse first and you have to press it, so when he refused, I insisted, only to realise eventually that he was saying “five minutes” and not “finished” and that he hadn’t yet completed the job! I was very embarrassed.

Then he returned with another guy and they mended the shower (it always seems to take more than one person!). Again, Mohamed was on his way out when I tried to thrust the tip upon him again. Once more, he refused the tip, explaining that he hadn’t actually succeeded in repairing it. Again, I felt embarrassed and clumsy.

They returned a third time, having found the part they thought they didn’t have. This time, they repaired the shower properly. Yes, you guessed right. I finally attempted to thrust the tip on them, in a very clumsy fashion by waving it in the air as they were running out the door. The helper turned to me and said “don’t worry” or something to that effect. At this point, I was too embarrassed and wound up to remember to insist, so, after all that, I still ended up not paying anything and worrying that maybe I was even being insulting by doing it so awkwardly.

I really don’t know how everyone else manages to do it so smoothly and without getting all in a twist about it. My conclusion is that I’m not really adapting so well to the culture as I would like!