Zurich - Preparing for Egypt

From Sunnier Days at Badi Enge in Zurich
 "If I were a ship, it would be too late, so look ahead".
True, literally and metaphorically.

Geraldine emailed me one day saying that she was finding it hard to imagine that it could possibly be hot and sunny in Egypt, even though she knew full well that it was. I am currently experiencing the same difficulty. I look outside at the grey sky and I try to fantasise what it’s like to have a blue sky and for it to be warm enough to sit outside and eat my breakfast on my balcony, but my imagination fails me. I just feel cold as soon as I even think about being outside and I associate hot with having too many covers on my bed and it being vaguely unpleasant. But I know I revelled in feeling the sun on my face again on my Turkish holiday. I know my imagination has got it wrong! Nevertheless, I still fail to get it into my head. Egypt is like a little made-up world in my head that doesn’t actually exist.

I’m preparing myself psychologically for returning to the land where everything goes wrong for me, which is in sharp contrast to this year in Switzerland, where everything’s gone right.

I’ve asked for my flat in Egypt to be cleaned before my arrival but am already fretting that maybe they’ll forget to do it. I’ve even had nightmares of arriving to a flat with heaps of dust, or a flat where the sea is now overlapping over my balcony and all my belongings are ruined, or all my items are broken. I don’t know why I’m worrying about it, really, because it’s always been cleaned when I’ve requested it and I’ve never heard of anyone being let down (dissatisfied, maybe, but not let down).

If I hear a strange noise at night, even here in immaculate Switzerland, a part of me panics that it might be the return of the rodents. So, that’s another thing for me to worry about. What if the rats have come back and they run to the door to great me?

I’m scared that I’m going to find the sea too cold for my liking (although, since it was an exceptionally hot summer this year, it should be warmer than usual). The fish would be horrified to know that I’m even feeling a little apprehensive about them – if I decide to practice front crawl in the sea, how will they react to my splashing about in their waters in a manic fashion? Will they come and attack me? Is it really going to be that warm while I’m there??

On the other hand, of course, I am very excited to be going back. I’m looking forward to sitting on my balcony and having breakfast with the fountain gushing away next to me. I’ve ordered a load of books on my kindle, so my beach time will be wonderful. I’ve bought a swimming watch with GPS that will tell me where I’ve swum and how efficient (or not) my swimming is. If I drown, my last moments will have been tracked. I’ll be meeting up with my friends there, reconnecting with people, remembering what it was like not to work...

But I have a long list of things I need to do before I leave. Each time I tick one off, I remember something else that I need to add to it, so the list doesn’t seem to get any shorter. I’m getting there, but now I have only problematic items left, which is why I’m procrastinating and writing this blog instead.

I need to sort out my UK tax return. Finally, I can do it online as an expat, but it’s been years and now I’ve lost my login and password. But they won’t send the login and password to me, because they have my address as Egypt and not Switzerland. I have to notify them of my change of residency first. Ugh. I’m only here for a year, well, only four more months now, so it doesn’t seem worth it. But I have no choice. Stale mate.

It’s similar with my trading account which I guess I will need to update for tax purposes. I’d emailed them ages ago to say I was now living in Switzerland but I’d be back in Egypt, so how could I register myself as in Egypt when I got back. They asked me to phone them. That always puts me off. So, months later and I haven’t done anything about it. They tried to phone me, but I never had my phone switched on (of course).

I actually think I know what they will do when I return to Egypt; they will register me as in a country where I can’t be recognised as a tax resident and so they will take the measures they have to do to ensure that I’m paying whatever it is I should pay. However, I’ll have a Swiss tax return to do for this year and next, so I need to register myself as here, but it won’t be easy to prove my residency because I’m a subtenant and therefore none of the bills are in my name. Everything is just so complicated.

It’s easier just to bury my head in the sand. It’s been the year of the ostrich. 

But I suppose that eventually I'll have to face the consequences of  avoiding all this and my chickens will come home to roost. 

Maybe this means that my next book should be 25 New Year's Resolutions - For Birds!